[Verse 1]
If you're having trouble with the high school head
He's giving you the blues
You wanna graduate but not in his bed
Here's what you gotta do
Pick up the phone, I'm always home
Call me anytime
36, 24, 36, oh
I lead a life of crime

[Chorus]
Dirty deeds
Done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds
Done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds
Done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

[Verse 2]
If you're having trouble with your life of love
You got a broken heart
He's double dealing with your best friend
That's when the tear drops start, fella
Pick up the phone I'm here alone
Just make a social call
Come right in, forget about him
We'll have ourselves a ball
[Hook]
If you got a lady and you want her gone
But you ain't got the guts
She keeps nagging at you night and day
Enough to drive you nuts
Pick up the phone, leave her alone
It's time you make a stand
For a fee, I'm happy to be
Your back door man

[Chorus]
Dirty deeds
Done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds
Done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds
Done dirt cheep
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

[Outro]
Concrete shoes
Cyanide, TNT!
Done dirt cheap!
Neck ties, contracts
High voltage!
Done dirt cheap!
Dirty deeds
I got a lotta dirty deeds
Done dirt cheap!
Dirty deeds
I got a lotta dirty deeds
Done dirt cheap!
Yeah!