[Intro]
Mwahahaha
Dracula was the name
And the Boogie Man is my father

[Chorus]
I got a monster in my closet
Someone's underneath my bed
The wind's knockin' at my window
I'd kill it, but it's already dead

[Verse 1]
It waits 'til the midnight hour to come
To torture me for the wrong I've done
It just sits there and stares at me
And it won't let me get any sleep (Just let me sleep)

[Chorus]
I got a monster in my closet
Someone's underneath my bed
The wind's knockin' at my window
I'd kill it, but it's already dead

[Verse 2]
At first I was scared when I looked at his eyes
But now that I know him, I'm not that surprised
I'm just waiting on the sun to rise
Oh, how I wish that old sun would rise
[Chorus]
I got a monster in my closet
Someone's underneath my bed
The wind's knockin' at my window
I'd kill it, but it's already dead

[Verse 3]
I used to wonder why he looked familiar
Then I realized it was a mirror
Oh, and now it is plain to see
The whole time, the monster was me

[Chorus]
Oh, there's a monster in my closet
Someone's underneath my bed
The wind's knockin' at my window
I'd kill it, but it's already dead

[Outro]
I'm the living dead
Only thing that'll bring me back alive, woman
Is some good, good head
Hahahahaha