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Andrew Huang
How To Actually Wear Pants
Put your left leg
In the left pant leg
Put your right leg
In the right pant leg
Pull the zipper up
(zzzzzzzip!)
And push the button through the hole
Give it a rub for good luck
Comb the tassels to eliminate knots
(you don't want to get [?])
Roll up the cuffs
Three rolls
Or knee high
Whichever comes first
Inflate the protective personal space maintenance buffer
And tune the jingle bells
*jingle bells*
To F#
*jingle bells*
Mixolydian
*jingle bells*
Place a package of gum
In one of the back pockets
But not both
Adjust the brightness and contrast to settings
Which are appropriate for your destination
Now, you are wearing your pants
Now, you are wearing your pants
Now, you are wearing your pants