[Verse 1]
I am a product of catholic school ruler beatings
Suspensions and foolish cheating
If I mention the ascension of Christ in a sentence
I'm probably kidding
This is a song about confronting my demons
And leading them back into undeveloped regions of my brain
So the sequences stop repeating

On the phone Abuela tells me "dios te bendiga"
But I feel like God took back his blessings
Ever since the moment I started breathing
And seeing the lack of validity surrounding all this mythology fed to me
Fuck it, even if I wanted to believe
I could never make a false god into my centerpiece

When I was an altar boy I saw Father Pat drinking wine out of bottles in the back
I saw that fucker Brother Rich get fired for touching little kids during after school class
And when i heard that Father Conrad died of AIDS in 1990
I started realizing that I couldn't trust my church entirely

[Hook]
Mother Superior jumped the gun
In the name of the Father, the Holy Ghost and the Son
I present a toast to the nuns
Falling in bad jokes like that one
What's black and white and red all over?
Hope is all done
[Verse 2]
God helps those who help themselves
God helps those with all the wealth
But God never helped me in my God damn life
So I gotta get up off the shelf
And I gotta do it fast
Before the past catches up to me
Sucking me back in its trap
I always wanted to believe in a beautiful heaven
But the history of my religion made it completely irrelevant

Shouts to the missionaries
Raping the women, enslaving the men
Shout out to animals buried
Apparently they never got to heaven
And a final shout out goes to the popes, and priests and the bishops abusing their power
Everybody knows real gangsters rock robes and mitre crowns

[Hook]
Mother Superior jumped the gun
In the name of the Father, the Holy Ghost and the Son
I present a toast to the nuns
Falling in bad jokes like that one
What's black and white and red all over?
Hope is all done