Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well, you left me anyhow and the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone completely out of my mind

And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

You thought it was joke and so you laughed, you laughed
When I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right?
You know you laughed, I heard you laugh
You laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad

And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house
And this is how you paid me back
For all my kind unselfish loving deeds, huh?
Well, you just wait, they'll find you yet, and when they do
They'll put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!

To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!

Your home, the one the bank foreclosed, you cried to me
Monogamy's the way we both must live or you'll feel hurt
But, I see, I see there's someone new
Your anxious poly-pure-bred coat was gone
Even at our place while I paid the rent, thanks!

And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the loony bin with all you can eat prescription drugs
Like Thorazine and lithium, electroshock and insulin
And they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!