Hey, hey, she's gone away
Goodbye and good riddance to her, hooray, hooray, hooray
And I'm sittin' in the office, goofin' on the job
Just throwin' little darts at her photograph
Hangin' on the wall

Hey, what the hell is this?
I always miss, I haven't hit it yet
So, what? Then why am I upset?
Perhaps I need to get new darts
Of course, that's all
I'll put them in the drawer
And now I think I'm feelin' better than before

Oh boy, it's just a toy
And I'd best be gettin' to work or I'll be unemployed
'Cause I'm sittin' in the office, goofin' on the job
Just thumbin' up my nose at her photograph
Hangin' on the wall

Oh, I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to do that sort of thing
Oh no
How can I make it up?
Perhaps, if only this, a kiss
Okay? For laughs, I kiss the photograph
And just to think I almost ripped the thing in half
Oh, gee, what's wrong with me?
I'd best put the picture away before I blow my tree
'Cause I'm sittin' in the office, goofin' on the job
Just shoutin' dirty words at her photograph

What? I-it isn't there
I-it never was
There is no photograph
It, it's, it's just a window
Oh no, oh no, oh, oh no

Oh my god, somebody's dead (Hey, somebody fell)
Hey, somebody fell out