[Verse 1]
Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
Well, you left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone completely out of my mind

[Chorus]
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha

[Verse 2]
You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed, you laughed when I had said
That losing you would make me flip my lid
Right? You know you laughed, I heard you laugh
You laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad

[Chorus]
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
[Verse 3]
I cooked your food, I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish loving deeds?
Huh? Well, you just wait, they'll find you yet
And when they do, they'll put you in
The ASPCA, you mangy mutt

[Chorus]
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
To the happy home
With trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time