[Dialogue: Artie Barnes, Napoleon XIV]
Hey, Napoleon, you wanna have a sleepover?
We could stay up late, watch some movies, get some pizza maybe
Ooh, c-can we get pepperoni on it?
Or maybe some stinky cheese
Just have your mom call my mom and set it up
Make sure they know it's all kosher
Sure, it sounds like fun
We can stay up all night, no one'll know
But sometimes, my mom can be such a, a bitch
Bring your sleeping bag and a pillow 'cause I don't have extras
Well, well, can we go out in the morning for breakfast?
Absolutely, maybe we can gеt some potatoes
Could we invitе girls over?
If you want to, that could be interesting
This could be lots of fun
Hey, let's break out the Ouija board
Yeah, maybe we could enter the bowels of Hell and conjure up some demons
So what do you want to drink?
Booze
Booze? We don't have any booze
Well, you asked me what I wanted to drink
Don't you remember?
Yeah, but all we got is Coke
Well, go buy some booze and come back
What kind of booze do you want?
Any kind
The kind that makes you tippy and a buffalo bug and all of that
Well, Mommy won't let us buy any beer
She ain't gonna have to know it
You mean, it'll be our secret?
Yeah
Maybe we can keep some other secrets
We can have sex
What does that mean? What is sex?
If you don't know, look it up in a book
What book? The book of love?
Love is not sex
Love is love, sex is sex, they're different
Hey, Napoleon, what are you doing?
I-I'm p—, I'm playing with myself
Dude
I'm getting kind of sleepy
Me too
Um, Napoleon, can I have a kiss goodnight?
My mommy usually does that, but, well, she's not here right now
And you're a, well, you're my friend and I love you, Napoleon
But I'm not in love with you, yet
Good night, Artie
Good night, honey
More pizza? Coke?
[Outro]
Baby talk at the sleepover
Baby talk at the sleepover
(Ow)