[Intro]
Aight, aight
Uh, Slim Shady
Yo, yo, yo

[Verse 1]
It's only fair to warn, I was born with a set of horns
And metaphors attached to my damn umbilical cord
Warlord of rap that'll bash you with a two by four board
And smash into your Honda Accord with a 4-door Ford
But I'm more toward droppin' an acapella
To chop a fella into mozzarella worse than a helicopter propeller
Got you locked in the cellar with your skeleton showing
Developing anorexia while I'm standin' next to ya
Eating a four course meal, watching you starve to death
With an IV in your veins, feeding you liquid Darvocet
Pumping you full of drugs
Pull the plugs on the gunshot victims full of bullet slugs
Who were picked up in an ambulance
And driven to receiving with the asses ripped outta they pants
And given a less than 20 percent chance of living
Have a possible placement as a hospital patient
Storing the dead bodies in grandma's little basement
Doctor Kevorkian has arrived
To perform an autopsy on you while you scream "I'm still alive!"
Driving a rusty scalpel in through the top of your scalp, and
Pullin' your Adam's apple out through your mouth
Better call the fire department
I've hired a arson to set fire to carpet
And burn up your entire apartment
I'm a liar to start shit
Got your bitch wrapped around my dick
So tight you need a crowbar to pry her apart with
Motherfucker, Slim Shady, bitch! Recognize!
[Verse 2]
Met a retarded kid named Greg, with a wooden leg
Snatched it off and beat him over the fucking head with the peg
Go to bed with the keg, wake up with the 40
Mixed it with Alka-Seltzer and Formula 44D
Fuck an acid tab, I'll strap the whole sheet to my forehead
Wait until it absorbed in, and fell to the floor dead
No more said, case closed, end of discussion
I'm blowin' up like spontaneous human combustion
Leaving you in the aftermath of holocaust and traumas
Cross the bombers
We blowin' up your house, killing your parents
And coming back to get your foster mommas
And I'm as good at keeping a promise as Nostradamus
'Cause I ain't making no more threats
I'm doin' drive-by's in tinted Corvettes on Vietnam war vets
I'm more or less sick in the head
Maybe more cause I smoked crack
Today, yesterday, and the day before
Saboteur, walk the block with a Labrador
Strappin' more corral for war than El Salvador
Foul style galore
Verbal cow manure
Comin' together like the eyebrow on Al B. Sure!
Motherfucker!
[Verse 3]
(Like this, and like that, and like this
Like this, and like that, and like this)
I'm the illest rapper to hold a cordless, patrolling corners
Looking for hookers to punch in the mouth with a roll of quarters
I'm meaner in action than Roscoe beating James Todd Sr
And smackin' his back with vacuum cleaner attachments
I grew up in a wild hood
As a hazardous youth
With a fucked up childhood
That I used as an excuse
And ain't shit changed
I kept the same mind state
Since the third time that I failed 9th grade
You probably think that I'm a negative person
Don't be so sure of it
I don't promote violence, I just encourage it
I laugh at the sight of death
As I fall down a cement flight of steps
And land inside a bed of spider webs
So throw caution to the wind
You and a friend, can jump off of a bridge
And if you live, do it again
Shit, why not? Blow your brain out
I'm blowing mine out
Fuck it, you only live once, you might as well die now
[Verse 4]
Yo, yo, yo!
My mom sent me up to the store with a food stamp
For a pack of cigarettes and a book at the news stand (Here.)
Two dudes ran up and jumped out of a blue van
I looked down at the ground and picked up a huge branch
I swung it at the first dude, the other one with him
Seen it snap so fast, it looked like it broke before it hit him
So he tried to rush, I swept his legs, pinned him, and bit him
He came back with 6 or 7 dudes screaming "Get him!"
I grabbed one, lit him on fire, pinned, and bit him
The next faggot gave me his shoes like they didn't fit him
One by one I just kept dropin' 'em in a rhythm
Then I woke up swingin' the middle of the kitchen
(Damn... damn... damn...)