Eminem
12 Minute Freestyle
[Verse 1: Eminem]
I'll shove a gun in your grill, greasy and heated
Smothered in hot mustard so when I feed it to you it's easy to eat it
You need to be immediately treated
While you're breathing
And you'll be leaving the receiving room this evening with Jesus
You hate on us? We'll be waiting on eight corners
Swarming your hood with a thousand angry skateboarders
I'll hop in a jeep and slam on the gas and charge you
And bombard you in the car that your mom bought you
Fuck around and get choked and found in a moat
Floating around, drowned, faced-down in a boat
I'll pile five dudes in a Pinto and pull-up to the Seven Mile drive through
At McDonald's and pile-drive you
I got the power to snatch a driver out of his Eddie Bauer
When it drives by me at 90 miles an hour
This place is my house
I might as well erase my face with white-out
Cause y'all can't see me like Mase's eyebrows

[Verse 2: Royce da 5'9"]
Walking in swamp water with an M-16, out for the blood
Shove a gun in the mouth of a thug
To break braces, you say grace and make faces
I'll display hate and break you in eight places
Take paces, turn around draw in a standoff
Precise aim, ice in my veins, blowing your hand off
Dancing with the Devil leading - I won't die, I'm never leaving
I pledge allegiance to forever breathing
Street n***as with nuts, what? My meat's bigger
Fake-ass thugs with toy guns and cheap triggers
With a deathwish, thinking I'm the n***a to mess with
Let the tech lift, direct chest hit, melt your necklace
For instance, you just a henchmen, on tough soil
A follower never had heart, he just loyal
Thugs is glass doors, I see through them, put the heat to them
Be careful you might get what you ask for
That's what you false ballers get mugged and gagged for
Your life flashing in front of your eyes in fast forward
Dearly departed, I don't even listen to artists
I'm pissing the farthest, and I'm also hitting the hardest
I'm very intelligent
Compare me to cameras
I flash, and shoot what I see, and steady developing
I fly you out of your whip with one try of the trigger
Out of your clique, ain't one n***a out of his shit
You gotta be kidding, bring all of them n***as
They all gotta be hit quick, and they all gotta be hitten
It's not a game, and I ain't playing
Yo if I ain't lived it, did it, or seen it, then I ain't saying
I put a hole right in your chest
Stick a knife in your soul
Then take your life after taking your death
I'm nice!
That ain't even counting the endless bars
Friends with scars, wondering which Benz is ours
Pretending to ball could even be the ending of y'all
The minute you fall, my criminals will finish you off
I argue with no one
You got a gun? Alright show one
If you ain't got heart now, you ain't gon' just grow one
[Verse 3: Eminem]
I'm keeping it raw, illegal like Malik and Jamal
'Cause I don't believe in the law, like I'm Steven Seagal
Flipping off the police while I'm leaping a wall
Take a bunch of Tylenol, then fall asleep in a mall
I got your little son, you'll be receiving a call
You're lucky this little punks still breathing at all
Fuck the world, this how I get even at y'all
Pop shit, get rolled up and leave in a ball
I hit you in your mouth and sink your teeth in your jaws
You won't be able to eat shit, not even a malt
This lethal assault, is giving you a reason to stall
I'm cocking this deuce-deuce and I'm squeezing it off
At the first burp and a fart sniffle a sneeze and a cough
Get your arm chewed off like you was teasing a dog
I'm cold enough and hot enough to freeze and unthaw
I'll kick my girl out, in 10 degrees in her bra

[Verse 4: Royce da 5'9"]
I'm gonna give it to you straight this time
Lace this bong
Bring it to your face until the Jakes respond
Guard y'all shit
I don't care how hard y'all hit
I got cats with bats you wouldn't play hardball with
I splatter intestines quick, before you can blast
Or handle your weapon, you'll get stabbed in a matter of seconds
We ain't worried about threats cause God got us
We popping Cris, y'all sipping Moet by-products
I ain't scared to die, let's blast, it's gonna be either
If you both die then your casket is gonna be deeper
Yo, you ain't a Don
You don't even know what beef is
What you competing with, our hittin' make concrete give
Yo I came out
Naked at birth, making it worse
Making a verse sacred and shaking the Earth
N***as got plenty opinions about Royce
But they ain't got a voice
I'm doper than them, so they ain't got a choice
N***as be playing battle-battle
Not understanding themselves
They babble-babble that's why they stay on the shelves
Playing yourself, I'm promising threats to test y'all
Keep doing this rap shit until UPS calls
I see why you must hate me
I'm sharp enough to cut gravy
It's just crazy, n***as is such babies
Real as they come, dancing
Killing for fun, advancing
Healing my thumb, killing for fun
Cock, squeeze and make every n***a freeze in here
Stop breathing, there better be some cheese in here
If there's any MCs in here, I hope you read me clear
You seeing peace, beef with the C's in here
Yo you ain't fly
I got shit that you can't buy
You can't lie, you drink St. Ides and fake high
Take pie, try to flip it
You don't nothing about that shit
If was you I wouldn't risk it
[Verse 5: Eminem]
I wouldn't risk it...
Rappers get hit with this verbal biscuit
Hey yo, yo, yo, yo, yo
Keep the same beat, keep the same beat, keep the same beat
It goes like this, yo
My attitude is worse than N.W.A.'s was
I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people
Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does
You see me standing outside of your building screaming
Puffy is good, but Slim Shady is for the children!
I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like
You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway
I'm just trying to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. (been there, done that)
Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson one: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson two: Face 'em and diss 'em
Don't give 'em a demo; kidnap 'em
And make 'em come to your basement and listen
Lesson three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus
And put yours on the owner's table
Lesson four: Know you heard this before:
"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"
Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P and have them come see you perform live
And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't
Givin you shit bitch - don't even bother asking me
Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spitting
Cause I'm always shitting when I'm rapping like Master P
Got a blowjob from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
My balls broke both of her collarbones
Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea
And all three of my main girls said see-ya
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fucking Aaliyah
I splish splash while I'm taking a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- fucking your wife in the ass
While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass
And it's like that, and it's like that

[Verse 6: Royce da 5'9"]
It don't stop
5-9, Slim Shady yo
The rap auctioneer, spitting out double figures
For fans to repeat, handling heat
The Commander in Chief, I should've been banned from the streets
Flee after I stab an MC with twin crutches
You've been had by the phantom of beef
Release when the paper and pen touches
While y'all talking
My venomous rap splits
Get your ass kicked punk
Your kind get offed often
80 n***as deep with heat at the mall walking
You'll either get shot with all barkers
Or get knocked upside your head with big blocks
Till you spit teeth
You're all soft and up shit's creek in a long coffin
I get work without a single fiend involved
I'm married to the mob, I mean for real, ring and all
Basically that means I ain't your average rap n***a
You'll get slapped and thrown in the back of an Ac(ura) bigger
With the latch cracked, trunk open
So you can look up at the stars
Fill your pockets with plastic explosives
Drive to cover, detonate the bomb
Blow you up with the car and flee the scene to cop another
Morph right into the physical form of your spirit
In front of your eyes, and make you battle yourself
Like Shang Tsung with wisdom in the brilliance of a million disciples
Equipped with a right hook to split a building
The pure repper of the African race
Sent here to knock you off your square and put you back in your place
Babylon battalion, holding your engineer ransom
For your master, so I can sabotage your album

[Verse 7: Eminem]
Yo, weed lacer, '97 burgundy Blazer
Wanted for burglary, had to ditch the Mercury Tracer
I’m on some loc shit, some fed up with the being broke shit
I’m not to joke with, bitch I don’t sell crack, I smoke it
Having a coke fit, going through withdrawls daily
Shoot-up with mescaline in front of my baby daughter Hailie
My brain’s dusted, I’m disgusted at all my habits
Too many aspirin tablets, empty medicine cabinets
Losing battles to wack rappers cause I’m always too blunted
Walking up in the cypher smoking, talking about “Who want it?”
Thug and a crook; every drug in the book; I’ve done it
My 9’s at your brain, is that you chain? Run it
Crews die from an overdosage of excessive flavor
Aggressive nature got me sticking you for your Progressive pager
Spectacular, crystal-meth manufacturer
Stole your momma’s Acura, wrecked it, and sold it back to her
Boosting Nike jackets, escaped from psychiatrics
Told the nurse to save my bed for me, I might be back bitch
So barricade your entrance, put up some extra fences
A woman beater, wanted for repeated sex offenses
Chasing dips – take them on long vacation trips
Kidnapping ‘em and trapping ‘em in abusive relationships
Fuck up your face and lips, slit your stomach and watch your gut split
Cut you with that razor that I use to shave my nuts with
Mama, don’t you cry, your son is too far gone
I’m so high, I don’t even know what label I’m on
I’m fucked up, I feel just like an overworked plumber
I’m sick of this shit, what’s Dr. Kevorkian’s phone number?

[Verse 8: Royce da 5'9"]
It's like this right?
Bust it
You get laced by the gun, in case you try to run
Hatred on my face by the tongue, get baked by the sun
Constructed of interplanetary rock and metal
Topping levels of combustion that's hot enough to stop the devil
Innovative flusher to enemies
The impact will be the generated destructive energy to flatten trees
Black, poised since birth
Birth? Tore the womb up
To hit the Earth like an asteroid and blow the moon up
Trust me, I'm the epitome, you better bust me
Any n***a can say fuck me and he gon' touch me
Smoking organic ganja inside of a stanza
Me and my man cypher with cans of volcanic lava
Man this is hot, I'm out of my shit
From the bottom I can leap out a bottomless pit and land at the top
Raw, that's what I came out here for
To raise and eclipse, and occasional trips to the beer store
And switch-up, the breed of MC to stick a bitch up
Bigger and speed to reach in the sea and pick a fish up
I'm fly against all laws of gravitation
I crushed all y'all, now you want a collaboration
But fuck that, you stepped up, so I'm gonna fuck your rep up
Tear the rest up, with every joint that I press up
Handling heat and ammo, bullets passing me by
Challenging me to battle? Man, you asking to die
Narrow off n***as, squeeze a grenade until it's dissolved
Bite the barrel of a revolver and spin it
N***a forget it, I earned it
I kill you then come to your funeral and strangle you to confirm it
Minds carry malaria, sick
Ask n***as who the best is, you'll hear 5-9 in every area
Crushing your head, hunting you dead
You ain't nice
I battled you before, I don't remember nothing you said
You was wack, I was gonna quit on it till I thought
My dick is big enough for all of y'all n***as to get on it
Making you high off of the smoke, often you're cold
Making y'all join that big hip-hop nation in the sky
And it's easy believe me, you better have been fronting
When you said you was hot, cause you couldn't please me if you was begging me

[Verse 9: Eminem]
Some people say I'm strange, I tell them ain't shit change
I'm still the same lame asshole with a different name
Who came late to the last show with a different dame
Brain ate from the last O that I sniffed of cane
You know you're spaced the fuck out like George Lucas
When your puke is turning to yellowish-orange mucus
So when I grab a pencil and squeeze it between fingers
I'm not a rapper, I'm a demon who speaks English
Freak genius, too extreme for the weak and squeemish
Burn you alive till you screaming to be extinguished
Cause when I drop the science, motherfuckers tell me to stop the violence
Start a fire and block the hydrants
I'm just a mean person, you never seen worse than
So when Slim gets this M-16 bursting
You getting spun backwards like every word of obscene cursing
On the B-side of my first single with the clean version
Stopping your short life when you still a teen virgin
Unless you get a kidney specialist and a spleen surgeon
In the best hospital possible for emergency surgery
To try to stop the blood from your ruptured sternum internally
I'll take it back before we knew each others' name
Run in the ultrasound and snatch you out your mother's frame
I'll take it further back than that
Back to Lovers Lane, to the night you were thought of
And cock block your father's game
I'll plead the fifth like my jaws were muzzled
So suck my dick while I take a shit and do this crossword puzzle
And when I'm down with ten seconds left in the whole bout
I'm gonna throw a head-butt so hard, it'll knock us both out