[Intro]
A lotta people ask me stupid fucking questions
A lotta people think that what I say on record
Or what I talk about on a record
That I actually do in real life or that I believe in it
Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody, that
I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it
Well shit, if you believe that, then I'll kill you
You know why? 'Cause I'm a criminal
You're goddamn right
Yeah, I'm a criminal
I'm a criminal

[Verse 1]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress, hate fags? the answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulging
That's my motherfuckin' balls, you'd better let go of 'em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em!
"Hey, it's me, Versace! Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checking the mail, get it? Checking the 'male'?"
How many records you expecting to sell
After your second LP sends you directly to jail?
Come on, relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen! (A-men!)
"Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital"
Preacher preacher! Fifth grade teacher!
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV and Comcast cable
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin' these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March
With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards
And to think, it's just little old me
Mr. "Don't Give a Fuck" still won't leave
[Hook]
I'm a criminal! 'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal! But I don't got to say a word
I just flip 'em the bird and keep going, I don't take shit from no one
I'm a criminal! 'Cause every time I write a rhyme
These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind
I guess I'm a criminal! But I don't got to say a word
I just flip 'em the bird and keep going, I don't take shit from no one

[Verse 2]
The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out, disfigured ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as-