[Verse 1: Chaos Kid]
It's been so long since you heard a song
From the Bassmint Productions but you can't go on
A sucker in tune, to make you go fly a balloon
Up in the sky like a kite, and end soon
And see, that I'm a good sucka MC
No one's better than me at foolin'
The crowd that I'm rulin'
'Cause you know that I'm co-schooling

[Bridge: Chaos Kid]
Yo Mike man, check this out dawg, I got M&M over here destined to ascend some dumb fuckin' stupid backstabbing two-timing...
Sike, they know that, but you know they- they ain't here yet so why don't we fuck around and give something to laugh at when they get here, if they get here if they don't, fuck it I'll take the tape myself
Gimme a beat that goes... *humming*
Could you hook me up with something like that?
Aw, shit! That's almost exactly what I was talking about man! Damn!
Mike, the super (gibberish) beat finder

[Verse 2: Chaos Kid]
As I look in my room, the doom surrounds me in gloom
And I'm soon to see a big balloon flying over, like the movie IT
I'm wondering "What the fuck is this shit?"
I don't know, but this shit looks scary
It ain't the fuckin' goddamn tooth fairy
It's something fucking ugly, yo, this shit is nasty, G
So what I did is go up in my room and sit down
And I wrote down a line, with a sound that sounded sorta like this
Then the tooth fairy bitch came again, riding on a broom
I said "Damn, you got a big warty nose, you fucking baboon
What the fuck are you doing here?"
She said "I'm close spreading that fear
'cuz you know I can
I'm on a broom and I ain't a man
But I rock the plan
The plan to take over the whole fuckin' world
And burn all the little boys and girls and children
Yo, I'm fulfillin' your deepest nightmare
'cuz I'm willin', to grab the mic and rock like a fuckin' witch bitch
So here I go (gibberish)
Yo, this is the witch and your doom is soon to find
Yourself lying in your fuckin' room
With a big knife between your two fuckin' eyes
Because you know that it's time for you to eat french fries
Unless you're gonna die
With the bat wings attached to your fat things
That you have between your nuts
So lick it up honey, 'cuz you know that's my butt"
[Verse 3: Eminem]
I was sittin' in my house, cold writin' some beats
When I got hit in the head with a big pair of cleats
I turned around and said "What the fuck is goin' on?"
Next thing I knew the shit threw me on my front lawn
I jumped up and I was laying in the snow
Then I looked up, and it came crashing out my window
I couldn't figure out what the hell it was
But it was flying so high it gave me a buzz
I said "Damn", and then they came swinging down
From a big tree and it had a mean frown
It had a mean grin on it's chin and I began
To ran down the street because I was in fear
Of this thing that was comin' after me
And all I could hear was a goddamn catastrophe
The sound of it, just made me cry
I said "Oh my god, where's my mom, I think I'm gonna die"
I said "Shit" then I continued running
Down the block, I turned around and the shit was still comin'
Then I tripped and fell in a pile of dog shit
I say "Goddamn, I think I've just been hit by something"
But I still couldn't figure out what the hell it was
Then it turned around and grabbed my nuts
I said "What the fuck is going on?"
Then it threw me out again and I ended up on my front lawn
I turned around and heard the sound of nothing
'Cause nothing was there, I said "Shit, it must be bluffing"
I didn't see anything but I felt a smack
It hit me in my head and I landed on my back
But I still didn't see anything
I was looking around and there still was nothing
I said "Damn, I gotta get in my house"
And then I asked Charlie, Charlie's my mouse
I said "Charlie, what the hell should I do?"
He said "Grab a wig, and put it on and then take a poo
In your house, go take a shit in your toilet
That's the only thing that will foil it
Its plan, to overrule the kingdom"
I said "I gotta bring some
Big turds, when I land them in the toilet
So James take the mic
And talk about what happened that mysterious night"
[Verse 4: Chaos Kid]
A mysterious night, I was walking down the street
With a broom in my hand, ready to beat
A sucka MC, who gon' step up to me?
Lookin' real funny, thinkin' that he's ugly
You're goddamn fuckin' right
You fuckin' ugly ass bastard, tryna' rock all night
With those rhymes, that sound old as shit particles
You know that was the old article
From an old newspaper
An old sucker in (?)
But this is the new one and I'm gonna have some fun
But wait, here comes a bitch yellin' rape
She's staring at me
Oh fuck, shit, I'm outta luck
I got hit by a brick from a man who's running down the street
I said "Fuck this shit, I'm getting outta here
Before I lose my fucking brick
That I just got stuck in my head
It's hanging out and I'm almost dead
But I got a piece of skull laying on the ground
So I pick up the shit and looked at my bones and frowned
I said "Damn
Who the fuck would do this to another human being?"
Must not be a man but a machine
And I turned around, it was a fucking computer
Staring me in the head and I had to take a (gibberish)
(more gibberish) What the fuck am I saying?
I didn't know 'cuz half my brain was laying
On the sidewalk, I looked and sighed sharp
I picked up a big piece of chalk and fucked it
Because I don't have no more brain left
The shit I'm saying is brain dead
'cuz you know that I have half a brain, and I just might cry
But I ain't got no more tears for this shit
I pulled the brick out my head and then I flicked it at the bitch
And I said "Die, computer, die!"
(screaming) (chuckling)
And he screamed with a sigh
Then I said "Yo, you fuckin' computer
You're giving me an electrical shock
I only got half a brain left, so what the fuck do you want me to do with it?
Go get a sock?
So I put it over my dick?"
He said "What the fuck are you talking about?
Put in a number, shit"
So I taked it out on his computer screen
And he fucked me up with a goddamn big step and gangsta lean
I said "Yo, this shit ain't funny no more
The beat's going off the (gibberish)
The beat's skipping, and the only thing left to say... is...
[Outro: Eminem]
Put the beat back on the track so I can
Bust a funky rhyme again
Well the next thing I...
No... no... no... no