[Verse 1]
I'm cancerous, so when I diss, you wouldn't want to answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
A hellspawn dropping a stealth bomb
Six mics in The Source, they borrowed one from LL's arm
You beef with me, I'm a even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally
I get too funny off of twenty Nō-Dōz
Hop on a snowboard and hit a tree harder than 'Sonny' Bono
So if I said I never get buzzed
That would mean I lie and get butt more than the president does
Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I took her freaking tonsils out and fed her sherbet
My nerves hurt and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blond dreads
Every girl I ever went out with has gone less
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
Talk back, fake sick, get out of school, steal from people
And don't think before you do somethin' that's illegal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignoring skill
Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist
How the **** can I be white? I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Fry from an overload and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm 'posed to teach kids how to behave?
[Hook 1]
Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I slap women and eat 'shrooms, then O.D
Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

[Verse 2]
Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door, must have been 'Ron' Gold
Jumped behind the door, put the session on hold
Did 'em both and smeared blood on a white Bronco
My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme-sayer
That'll spray a Aerosol can up at the ozone layer
My rap style's warped, I'm running out the morgue
With your dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm about as normal as Norman Bates with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother, are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone please explain to my brain
That I just severed a main vein
With a chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sigh, either I'm fried or I'm nuts
Cause if you ain't tilting this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
Cause when I drop this solo hit, it's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it
[Hook 2]
I came to the club drunk with a fake I.D
Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I've been with ten women who got HIV
Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I've got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
You probably want to grow up to be just like me