Eminem
Mic Check, One, Two
[Intro]
Let's just go, man, is it recording?
Yeah, let's just rhyme out our ass
Bout to kick a rhyme right outta my head
Huh (Oh yeah)
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two

[Verse 1: M&M]
Here I go in the place to be, rhyming like this on the M-I-C
Here's the way that I rhyme so naturally, and actually
When I grab the mic, all the people say
"M&M, you're one of the funkiest MC's out today"
And I say "I agree", because I am a funky dope slammin' MC
I slam a mack daddy
Every time I grab the mic and say I wanna rap, daddy
But you can't, because I take it
Grab the mic and if I'm done, I break it
When I'm done, I just slam the
Microphone and cram it right in your asshole
Because "asshole" and "cram the" didn't rhyme
But that's alright 'cause I'm jammin'
On the microphone 'cause I'm slammin'
Busting out lyrics and you like to examine
My style that I'm doin', but if you step to me pursuing, I'll ruin
All your hopes and dreams, 'cause I work with my man
He's on my team
My man Manix is on my side every time the crowd panics they say
"Damn, how'd you make a beat like that ma'am?"
And I say "I'm not a ma'am, I'm a sir"
And if you step to me your eyes'll be blurred
[Chorus: Maximum]
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two
Mic check, one, two
Alright, check it out

[Verse 2: Maximum]
I'm like [?], like [?]
I got somethin' else I been holdin'
Goin' to the mic and I'm checkin' out myself
I'm ready to do, I wanna go, alright? Shit
Alright, Manix, let's hear the rythm
'Cause I could give it to 'em when I kick it
But they know they wanna diss
Some sayin' the smack, the flack [?] the n***a that was back
I come with something that's funky [?]
[?] like [?]
I say "What's up? Cause ya [?], man
'Cause I'm dead in your face like the n***a [?] Batman
I'm not really a crystal, but how could It be like this?
Because a n***a's like [?]
I don't understand the things you do, I'm just dodge it
Actin' like [?]
But they could keep up with somethin' funky
I in yo ass like brass monkey
But I'm not the Beastie Boys, the noise, the [?], the [?]
So just bring the noise, hey
So [?], say "What's up?" to those that [?]
Who's the pro [?] who can flow?
So, M&M, won't you grab the mic and take it? Here you go, sike
I give it back to myself incase you were [?]
Say "What's up?" to those with the big butts
And if we do [?] a rhyme [?] doodie, I gotta use 'em like Judy and Boodie
[Chorus: Eminem]
One, two
One, two, mic check, a one, two
One, two, one, two
Mic check, a check, one, two
Mic check, a one, two, one two
Mic check, three, four, six, seven, eight

[Verse 3: Eminem]
Mic check, one, two
Do unto others as you would have them do to you
No, that's not the way I work because when I rhyme I'm a jerk
I grab the mic and start dissing
All these MC's and try to put them into submission
Take them out for the count because the amount I throw is so deaf
Word! Deaf didn't rhyme but I
On your windshield just like a turd
Every time that I rhyme you know that I'm
Going to climb to the tip-tip-top and I'm
Not going to stop 'cause I grab the mic and dop-da dop dop
I fucked up, but that's alright because my luck's up
No it's not, 'cause here I am, I got a lot to give
And I don't live positive, now I'm not saying I'm negative
But if I grab the mic I do mega kits
Every time that I grab the mic you know that M&M is gonna be rolling his tongue just like this
And then I go do a funky rhyme and if any MC steps up he gets fucking dissed
Bad, don't call me dad
Vanilla Ice said that, that made me mad
So when I step to the mic
Know that I gotta clear my throat and excite
I'm trying to get the mic cord away from the stereo so I can bust some material
I take it around my leg, and then all the MC's wanna beg
And say "Yo, please give me a turn!"
I say "No" because it's my turn to burn
And I bust a rhyme like this and you can't step to a rhyme that I do 'cause you're dissed!
You're dissed so bad every time
Sure, he don't get a turn, and he's starting to get mad but I'm
Just going to take the mic
I'm not gonna give it to him because I am
So damn hyped in the place to be
Rhyming like this 'cause I'm an MC
Rhyming so deaf to the happy ass beat
It's kinda gay like Liberace but hey
Listen to the words that I display every time I kick a rhyme this way
You know that the star is worthwhile, every time I grab the mic I'm longer than a mile
[Spoken: Maximum]
Alright, y'all, I'm in a house
Everybody, I'm in a house
I'm 'bout to kick, without a doubt
Uh, shit, alright

[Verse 3: Maximum]
Here's a rhyme for the pussies
I'm 'bout to get fruitier than [?]
So, understand when you die
Gotta have to play you like french and watch you fry
But I'm a hamburger, so what's up with that n***a?
You down with a [?] murder
Step into an unholy sucker
I'm talkin' about the devilish motherfucker
So when you say they talkin' about and thinkin' about all that shit they just thinkin' about
Some n***as tell you "How's [Wayne?]"
Just straight up and down, I'm not even playin'
You act rowdy, I like to say it's cloudy
And if you don't understand, I'm sayin' outy
But honestly it sucks just like a soda
I'm layin' on the sofa and I [?] a seizure
[?] said it was a [?] but with a [?] from the reverb
[?] when I clean dirt off my sofa and [?] over the head with a soda

[Spoken: Maximum]
Ah, man
Ah, man
Damn, alright

[Verse 4: M&M]
I waste no time, when I can't flip I caper
And cut your butt up like G toilet paper
When I bust a rhyme I'm a stud
That's what I like to say, jump on my pud
Girly, girly, would you like to fuck me, fuck me in my house early?
Or late, I don't care, let's make a date 'cause I don't pump weights to get dates
Just because I'm huge, I bust a lyric
But I get greedy like a scrooge
When I grab the mic it's kinda stingy
I kick rhymes that ain't dingy
When I bust I'm like porcelain
You try to grab the mic and force it against
But you can't 'cause you are speechless
And I get sandy like beaches
I get sandy, I grab the mic, hand me it so I can get dandy
When I bust the shit I get like a noogie
Then I boogie, boogie on down because
Every time that I kick a rhyme I just dud
I meant to say "Do", but I got an addiction to friction every time I kick non-fiction
Non-fiction science, every time I grab the mic I got the alliance
Right behind me stepping into the 90's, you know you'll try me and you'll die, G
So don't even try it, I don't buy it, so you'd better keep quiet
With the rhyme, let's get into it, ain't nothing but to do it

[Bridge: Maximum]
Say hip, hop, a hippy to the hip, to the hip, hop
To the hippy, hippy hop, ayy
If you're ugly, I dare you to say "Ah!"
Ah!

[Verse 4: Maximum]
Now let's talk about everybody wanna know
Who's the n***a that was [?] who the [?]
I'm not down with the hungry [?]
But some n***as actin' like they from a long island
I say "What's my n***a [?]"
I say "What's up?", but you wanna hear the bass go
I sing a jig that'll make you go and make you yo
You don't understand when I let the money go
But they don't understand mechanics
[?] think his name was Manix [?]
And yo, Manix, let the beat drop right here
So they understand they made the fear, yes
I'm talkin' about the style I do
Hey, you don't understand what I'm into
I got a style [?] microphone, I sound like a [?]
[?]
But they don't understand the style I do
Back to the preview of the [?]
[?]
Born like this but you know you can't hit this
[Sideburn?] when you [?] my turn
You need to learn [?] how you don't know
That you never knew who was the best
In the oogie-woogie-noogie-boogie, represent the best
And I'm outy, and yo, tell'em 'bout me
Ayo, Butterfingers, lay a scratch
Chika-chika, um-um-um

[Verse 5: M&M]
You'd better catch up 'cause you're trailing
You'd better put springs in your ass and jump like Van Halen
Every time I bust a rhyme I get like a panther if you're lying that slander
'Cause you're lying like Berry Saunders, every time I grab the mic I get married and I
Like to kick a rhyme that I pick
Every time I pick the mic up I stick
A dick right up your ass like a faggot
You're gonna die, be crawling with maggots
Every time I dread you like hair, I said you'd better get (?) on your underwear
You'd better run, 'cause if you don't
Afraid you'll be seeing a ghost like a wraith
You ain't an eighth of me, every time I grab the mic girls try to act so faithfully
But I say "No, don't be a fan. Just try to step to my dick and act like a man"
No, that don't make no sense but every time I cut class like a pair of scissors I get so damn hyped
On the mic, 'cause every time I step to the forefront I like
To wonder on to something that I'm drawn to
Every time I grab the mic and pass it to Shaun he
Gets so deaf but I'm not gonna pass it yet
'Cause I burn like acid vet, word!
I'm a stick like a trident 'cause you need guidance
I'm not [?], give me Dorito, I feel like a Frito
But, yo, I'm like [?]
A torpedo, attack her like a missile
You want some of this but I'm fightin' that [?]
Onto the [bone?], 'cause you know you got holes in your panties
I want to say fuck Annie, like tomorrow, I feel no sorrow
[?] I'm gonna cut you like Zorro
Just say [?] god, girl
[?] but you're saying [?] the world
I don't understand how many women get with me
But I don't care because [?] hit the [?]
I'm like a GMC truck, because I don't [?] run down in [?]
Yo [?], you gonna [?] say ah! (Ah)
[?]
I'd like to say [?], but you don't like the [?] when I [?] I'm making them go
Some people are [?] like [?]
But some [?]
But, yo [Manix?]
And [?] some shit down to make them fall off the [?]
Cause [?]
I really wanna take the mic and show 'em it's time [?] what I gotta do
I said what's up with that n***a [?] black and blue
I take ya [ideals?] and do 'em like this
Suck my dick, you know you wanna bite this
You don't understand, cause you know you wanna write this
So I get [?]
You can wrap your lips around a real black cock
Somebody said that already, It don't matter cause I'm [?] like Freddy
So I'm outta here, remember this
Forehead, more dead, and [?]
Tune into our next preview, with the Bassmint tapes on the cellar
And where I'll [?]
Uh, bring the beat back in, and just let rock the mic my friend
Because I am so deaf and I am so fre-