[Intro]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

[Verse 1]
Y'all act like you've never seen a while person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Started whooping her --- worse than before
They first werе divorced, throwing her over furniturе (Ah!)
It's the return of the "Aw, wait, no way, you're kidding. He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...Nothing you idiots, Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my
Basement (Ha-ha)
Feminist women love Eminem, "Chicka-chikca-chikca, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him. Look at him! Walking around grabbing his you know what
Flipping the you know who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to --- a dead moose
My --- is on your lips, my --- is on your lips, and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids and expect them not to know what a womans --- is
Of course they're gonna know what --- is by the time they hit 4th grade
They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloups
But if we can --- dead animals and antelopes, then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (Ewwhh)
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women, wave your pantyhose sing the chorus, and it goes
[Chorus]
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Cause, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?

[Verse 2]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well, I do, so --- him and --- you too
You think I give a --- about a Grammy?
Half of you critics and even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win? Wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you could sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave --- to first
Lil --- put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim. Hee-hee!"
I should download an audio on MP3 and show the whole world how you gave Eminem --
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a --- like me
Who dress like me
Walk, talk, and act like me
It just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
[Chorus]
Cause, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Cause, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?

[Verse 3]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the --- to say it in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false and sugarcoat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it (Errr)
I just --- it better than 90% of you rappers out can
Then you wonder, how can kids eat up these albums like ---?
It's funny, cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30 thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Punching nurses --- when I'm --- off with Jergens
And I'm --- but this whole bag of --- isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lerking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in a parking lot, circling, screaming "I don't give a ---!" with his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And to be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
One more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus]
I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Cause, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Cause, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?
Cause, I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shady's are just imitating
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up?
Please stand up?

[Outro]
Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
--- it, let's all stand up

[Produced by Dr. Dre & Mel-Man]