Own a musket for home defense
Since that's what the founding fathers intended
Four ruffians break into my house
"What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle
Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man
He's dead on the spot
Draw my pistol on the second man
Miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog
I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot
"Tally ho lads" the grapе shot shreds two men in the blast
Thе sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms
Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion
He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up
Just as the founding fathers intended