[Verse 1]
Somewhere inside them back Florida pines
There's a town with a chalked on name
A little white church in a real tight curve
On the edge of a field full of grain
Preacher was a standup man shakin' hands
Every Sunday morning at the door
Loved his congregation but he ran an operation
Sellin' more than the word of the Lord
He called it holy water
Holy water, yeah

[Verse 2]
He bought a brand new Lincoln, had a couple deacons thinkin'
It was more than he could afford
They knew somethin' was up when he was shuttin' his trunk
At the church around one in the morning
When he was out of sight they snuck around inside
And found a door leading under the ground
They popped a lock on the latch
Walked down and flashed their lights and guess what they found
A cellar full of holy water

[Chorus]
No one knows where it comes from, buddy
But you can find it anywhere from 'Bama to Kentucky
Got the whole damn southeast side of the country
Lining up to pay top dollar
Jar tops twist when the sun starts settin'
It burns like hell, get you high like heaven, and Lord
Have mercy if they knew where they were gettin' that holy water
[Verse 3]
The deacons pulled up to his house in a truck
With the proof all crystal clear
He tried to play it off but he knew he was caught
So he said, "Brothers, listen here
You can call the law or you can keep a secret
I'll cut you in and we can call it even"
Next Sunday morning 'round ten o' clock
There was two more Lincolns in the parking lot

[Chorus]
No one knows where it comes from, buddy
But you can find it anywhere from 'Bama to Kentucky
Got the whole damn southeast side of the country
Lining up to pay top dollar
Jar tops twist when the sun starts settin'
It burns like hell, get you high like heaven, and Lord
Have mercy if they knew where they were gettin' that holy water

[Outro]
Now there's new stained glass, new pews front to back
Nobody even asked no questions
A sign out front with some letters readin' John
Chapter two, verse one, through eleven