[Verse 1]
Sitting on a truffet, puffing on the best cut buds
Trying to get butt from Miss Muffet
Me and Teddy Ruxpin sturring up a ruckus
Egging all the houses, smashing all the pumpkins
Suck a Dick Butkus, chumps can't funk with the punk kids
Ash Roth be the king of the blumpkins
Any Tim Duncan spur of the moment
Let the whole world know I run shit
Jump ship quick, tell a friend that I'm dumb sick
Spit fungus that'll grow from a dung, trip
Twist to a front flip; son, that was some trick
Watch all the dumb chicks hump when I bump this

[Verse 2]
Kinda like the blonde Bob Saget, Ash can get nasty
Pass me a blunt and some Captain
Chilling with an Ashley, heading to the mall
Sitting in the backseat, getting jerked off
Ten feet tall with the balls of a matador
Door-matted whore with your words, heard that before
Poor metaphor, pedicure, get your feet fixed
Walk in my shoes for a few, you gon' need it
Yeah, get your Wii Fit to practice your frees with
Need a few weeks before you can compete with
Razor Ramon flow, oh so sharp
You can take Kapowski, I'mma take Lark on my go-kart
[Verse 3]
Mario Kart skills are outrageous
Play me any day and I'll be the best racist
Wait, no, erase it, meant to say "racer"
Traded in my cell phone for a new pager
Take off your Bluetooth now dot com
I'm at the grocery store with hot moms
About thirty-five with at least two kids
We can make out while my friend babysits
All up in your fridge eating left-over shit
Tuna sandwich, Butterscotch Krimpets
Cheetos be my choice of chip
I enjoy for a bit, take a sip from my Ssips and split

[Bridge]
Roll that J up, is it rolled?
Yeah, roll it up, uhh

[Verse 4]
Hair like a troll doll, basketball shorts on
Yeah, I'm a dork, but I'm still holding court
Ball up, baller, y'all take too long to get dolled up
Give a fuck if I look like I just woke up
Who am I trying to impress? Honey in the sun dress
With the breasts luscious just sent me a text
"O-M-G, you're the B-E-est"
If you're trying to have sex, I'm the best at it