[Verse 1: Asher Roth]
Where's my lapis? I need my lapis before I start rapping
I'm establishing my routine and this be my new thing
A travesty, a tragedy, a uh natural catastrophe
Actually it ain't even a big deal
The world keeps big wheeling no matter how you feeling
Just keep swimming Dory and telling yourself whatever story helps you sleep at night, even if you need a light
What you reading? Any book suggestions? That would be tremendous
I sip Guinness with the winners, give me two please
Not disrespecting and I'm sure the pain's effected you
But T-Pain rеcords as a setting is a better mood
Maybе you should get a room, how about seek counseling?
Man sit down for a bit, yo you're babbling
Tell me what you're grappling with, it's a hassle I bet
But depression is denounced, get out the house for a bit
Do I sound like a script? From Woody Allen I bet
'Cause I'm just pouting on the couch, browse around Netflix
And can't find nothing, all so mind numbing
Fools be line bumping to cope with time doubling
Things keep speeding up, Earth keeps heating up
Need like a first aid kit and a beefy truck
So if it all erupts I can run from like Pierce Brosnan
In Dante's Peak, man that sounds so sweet

[Hook]
What's the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Life is so cruel
Bruh, you need to chill out man-man
Seriously, why can't I be cool?
Chill-chill-chill out man
The question is have I learned anything about life
You need to chill-you need to chill
You need to chill and smoke some weed
[Verse 2: Asher Roth]
But the truth is the single use glue stick blue stick plastic apparatus is actually some bad shit
If we don't practice bringing bags to get apples and to stack chips man, things can get drastic
Listen to Ash kids, he's got heart
More clever lines than the signs at a liberal march
For college gameday, way more lit
Temple-Notre Dame on some hayday shit
I'm on some play my shit I'm on some Pele trips
To Brazil, yeah for real, for-for-for real
Used to be all about a deal but still it's all about a mill, gotta eat

[Hook]
What's the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Life is so cruel
Bruh, you need to chill out man-man
Seriously, why can't I be cool?
Chill-chill-chill out man
The question is have I learned anything about life
You need to chill-you need to chill
You need to chill and smoke some weed

[Outro: Joey O’Gorman]
The professor remains steadfast in his belief that his students must learn to grow