Well I was just now doing funnels at good ol' TKE's
When I saw a drunk come in who looked pretty good to me
So I asked her for a dance and then I asked her for name
And within a nanosecond she became a royal pain

Bawk bawk bawk
Bawk bawk bawk

Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)

Across the room I spot a girl with eyes disguised as love
With the raven hair and the soft skin of a dove
And when she looked at me into my eyes she put me in a hex
I said beat me, whip me, love me baby let me write bad checks

Bawk bawk bawk
Bawk bawk bawk

Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenberg (Ohhh)
Well Suzy was a moaner and a sleazy little tease
But once you got her going she would always aim to please
With a quart of cheap tequila and a quarter gram of hash
Her hips would start a smokin' like a pipe of burning ash

Bawk bawk bawk
Bawk

Thank you Doctor Graffenburg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenburg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenburg (Ohhh)
Thank you Doctor Graffenburg (Ohhh)