[Verse 1]
Five men in the car down at the local bar, I been drinkin' with my friends
Seein' double and you knew it'd be trouble: I was drivin' home drunk again
I sped right by a patrol car and I prayed he'd let me pass
Seen him in the mirror 'fore I got far, nd I seen [?]

[Chorus 1]
Hello Five O
How you doin', sir?
How fast was I goin'?
Sorry I ain't sure
But here's my license
And my insurance card
Oh Five O, I'm just drivin' home
I ain't comin' back from the bar

[Verse 2]
He looked down at my license and then he looked me in the eye
By the smell of booze, Lord I knew he knew I was caught up in a lie
Well he walked back to his patrol car and I thought I'd make a run
But he's right there standin' before I could start
He said, "Step out that vehicle son"

[Chorus 2]
Hello Five O
You wanna breathalyze me?
Well need to take a deep breath
And blow a damn machine
Well here goes nothin'
What's the meter say?
No Five O, it just can't be so
No way I blew a .28
[Verse 3]
He reached down for his handcuffs
Then he looked at me with a grin
Said "Son, don't even think of gettin' tough
"I'm gonna haul you in"

[Chorus 3]
Fuck you, Five O
The act's over now
I'll say what I want to
I'm screwed anyhow
I'm gonna lose my license
And my right to drive
So fuck you, Five O, [?]
For this here DUI