[Verse 1]
You look as pretty as a picture in a brand-new K-Mart frame
Like a cocktail waitress on a Las Vegas weddin' day
So if your has-been's busy playin' video games
Give me a call, sweet momma, if you need some strange
Oh I feel the same

[Chorus]
So baby, how 'bout you and me
Go on a vandalism spree?
Burn down the Dairy Queen
Maybe rob the cash machine
And spend it all on a weddin' ring
Orange spray paint and gasoline
We'll make-believe it's halloween, girl
Anything to feel a thing

[Verse 2]
You ever get so lonesome, You ever get so bored
You wanna throw some rocks at your Honda Accord?
Well we can steal some Keystone beer from A-rab liquor store
Gonna blow more money, honey, than you can afford
I'll be an escort for ya

[Chorus]
Baby, how 'bout you and me
Go on a vandalism spree?
Burn down the Dairy Queen
Maybe rob the cash machine
And spend it all on a weddin' ring
Orange spray paint and gasoline
I hung the moon down in New Orleans, hell
Anything to feel a thing
[Bridge]
So if you ever get tired of those pastel blues
If you ever feel wired with nothin' better to do
We'll set the woods on fire and burn the avenue
I'll be the first to warn you, girl, I ain't nothin' but bad news

[Chorus]
So baby, how 'bout you and me
Go on a vandalism spree?
Burn down the Dairy Queen
Maybe rob the cash machine
And go pawn a weddin' ring
For cocaine and ketamine
I can be your Charlie Sheen, hell
Anything to feel a thing