[SOLOISTS]
Whether you are pro or anti
Or could not care less
We are here to tell you
We are here to sell you chess
Not a chance of you escaping
From our wiles
We've locked the doors
We've blocked the aisles
We've a franchise worth exploiting
And we will (yes we will!)
When it comes to merchandising
We could kill

[FEMALE SOLOISTS]
When you get up

[MALE SOLOISTS]
When you get up in the morning

[SOLOISTS]
Till your bedtime book
You will have to live your life
With bishop, knight, and rook

[MALE SOLOISTS]
Clean your teeth with checkered toothpaste
Wear our vests
[FEMALE SOLOISTS]
Our kings and queens
On bouncing breasts

[SOLOISTS]
You could even buy a set
And learn to play
We don't mind
We'll sell you something anyway

We've done all our market research
And our findings show
That this game of chess
Will be around a month or so
Maybe it's a bit confusing
For a game
But Rubik's cubes
Were much the same
In the end the whole world bought one
All were gone
By which time we merchandisers
Had moved on!

By which time
We had moved on!