I don't mean to complain about censorship at all though, because as you probably have seen by now, you can basically say whatever you want on television. It's ridiculous. You can say anything you want. And if you don't believe me, you should watch a little program called Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Yeah. A show that I love, because on that show you can say the grossest things you've ever heard in your life. No, you can't say like the 'f-word,' you can't say that on Special Victims Unit, but people walk around on SVU going like, "Looks like the victim had anal contusions. Yo, looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." Those are two real things that I heard on Law & Order: SVU at 3 in the afternoon, both spoken by Ice-T. Ice-T is a detective with the special victims unit. He handles New York's most sensitive cases.

I love Ice-T on SVU. He is fantastic, he's awesome. What's so great about him is that he's been with the SVU for like, mmm, 11 years now, but he still treats every case like it's his first, in terms of total confusion. Sometimes they'll be in the middle of an investigation and Ice-T will be like, "Yo, you telling me this dude gets off on little girls with pigtails?" It's like, "Yeah, Ice... he's a pedophile. You work in the sex crimes division. You're gonna have to get used to that."

You know how they try and tie in, like, current events to every episode of SVU? So there was this episode I saw a while ago that was about sex addiction, 'cause a lot of celebrities have come out as sex addicts. So the episode's about sex addiction. There is a scene in the episode where the other detectives are trying to teach Ice-T what sex addiction is, and it takes a couple of minutes. And finally, Ice-T gets it, and they cut to him in this close-up and he goes, "Oh, I get it. You mean like when someone drinks too much, or snorts cocaine, or bets the house on the ponies?" I was like, "Yeah you got it, man." And I was psyched that Ice-T understood so that they could continue with the investigation, but I could've watched another four hours of Ice-T just naming examples. Just that close-up and Ice-T like, "Or like when some smokes too many cigarettes? Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards? Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries? Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake? Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake and then barfs it up?" And he would just keep talking and it would slowly fade out and say "Executive Producer: Dick Wolf." That'd be my ideal episode. That'd be a good one.

I saw this SVU a little while ago... I saw this episode of SVU, and Dean Cain was a rapist… on the show. And there was a scene where they do a line-up with Dean Cain and four other guys and they bring in this woman who's gonna look at the line-up, and it's her behind the glass and they open the curtain and she's standing with the two other detectives. And I knew she wasn't gonna say this, but part of me was hoping she would just be like… "Is that… Dean Cain? Fucking Dean Cain? That's pretty cool."