John Mulaney
Totally Gay
[BACKUP SINGERS]
What's it like to be gay?

[FREDDIE MERCURY]
When you’re gay, everyday
Is a nonstop cabaret
You've got style and flair, you're loved everywhere
’Cept for North Carolina
Bears and queens and Catholic tweens
The world's your buff buffet
Come and join in the fun, say hello to tight butts
And goodbye vaginas

[FREDDIE MERCURY]
Be gay, totally gay

[BACKUP SINGERS]
Be gay

[FREDDIE MERCURY]
Not just bi or femme or artsy fartsy fey
But genuinely gay
There's a new life calling today
Come be gay

[BACKUP SINGERS]
So gay
[FREDDIE MERCURY]
Be a bright and shining rainbow
Yes, you'll find your new identity
In the LGBT community
Oh

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
I'm gay, totally gay

[BACKUP SINGERS]
He's gay

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
I'm a fabulous, flouncing, loud and proud cliché

[BACKUP SINGERS]
Sashay

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
On display

[BACKUP SINGERS]
All day

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
And I've found my calling today
[BACKUP SINGERS]
Hooray

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
Oh, shanté

[BACKUP SINGERS]
So gay

[ANDREW GLOUBERMAN]
It’s a flaming, hot pink letter day
I’m not the boy I used to be
I'm here, I’m queer, get used to me
I'm gay

[FREDDIE MERCURY & BACKUP SINGERS]
He's absolutely, undeniably gay