Ben Caplan
Minimum Intervals
The minimum intervals from conjugal duties as prescribed in the Talmud are as follows:
For men of independent means every day is what she needs
Labourers it’s twice a week, you got to make your lady squeak
Donkey drivers once in seven, got to send your spouse to heaven
Sailors every half a year, it’s back to port you’ve got to steer
According to the old tradition, a jewish husband is forbidden
To go too long without spending time on nether region tending
For men of independent means every day is what she needs
Labourers it’s twice a week, you got to make your lady squeak
Donkey drivers once in seven, got to send your spouse to heaven
Sailors every half a year, it’s back to port you’ve got to steer
Her pleasure is your obligation, if she gives the invitation
Has the right of course to say she’s not quite in the mood to play
Consent is de rigeur, you’ve always got to check with her
The point is human beings as such need a little loving touch
(4x)