[Introduction]
My son you have been so unwise!
Forgot to ask for my advice
If you want to have a happy life
Get yourself a widow bride
Get yourself a widow bride

[Verse 1]
'Cause a widow bride has everything
Her husband couldn't take with him
A widow bride knows how to do
Things you don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to

You don't know how to teach her to

[Chorus]
If you want a happy life
Get yourself a widow bride

[Verse 2]
King David was a horny king
Saw a subject that he was interested in
But her husband was a soldier fine
So he put him in the front of the battle line
He put him in the front of the battle line
He put him in the front of the battle line
Put him right in the front of the battle line

[Verse 3]
And the new Queen, she had everything
Her husband couldn't take with him
The new Queen she knew how to do
Things you don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to

You don't know how to teach her to

[Chorus]
If you want a happy life
Get yourself a widow bride

[Bridge]
My great-grandfather was seduced
By Victoria and the language that she used
She said, 'I'm lookin' for a strong, young man...'
To match up with these virgin lands
She said that they were virgin lands...

[Verse 5]
But Canada had everything
Her husband couldn't take with him
But Canada knew how to dance
Things ya don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to
You don't know how to teach her to

If you want a happy life
Get yourself a widow bride

[Outro]
If you want a happy life
Get yourself a widow bride
Get yourself a widow bride
Get yourself a widow bride

Get yourself a widow bride