[Verse 1]
Upon the Monday morning oh
The rain it was a-rainin'
My love she come to me and said
"When shall you and I be wed?
"I have bought a double bed
And Mother is complaining."
(I can’t abide her mother)
And all the while the rain it was a-rainin'

[Verse 2]
Upon the Tuesday morning oh
The snow it was a-glistenin'
My love still hadn’t gone away
So, I did ask her mistress, "Pray
What was it you said yesterday?
I really wasn't listenin'."
("Haha!" I laughed. She hit me!)
And all the while the snow it was a-glistenin'

[Verse 3]
Upon the Wednesday morning oh
The hail it was a-hailing
My lovе she made a quick retort
And said, "To cut a story short
I bought a bеd, the double sort
Your hearing must be failing."
(She called me a deaf nit!)
And all the while the hail it was a-hailin'
[Verse 4]
Upon the Thursday morning oh
The day was not a hot one
I said, "You bought a double bed
Well, that was what I thought you said
You must be going off your head
For I've already got one."
(Yeah, we've got two now, haven't we?)
And all the while the day was not a hot one

[Verse 5]
Upon the Friday morning oh
Nobody spoke!

[Verse 6]
Upon the Saturday morning oh
The thunder it was frightenin’
I shouted so that I’d be heard
"Oh, let us marry on the third"
But did she answer? Not a word
For she'd been struck by lightnin’
And after that the weather started brightenin'

[Outro (spoken)]
I had a lovely day. I went fishin'!
I caught four
One of 'em was a great big, fat fella he was
Oh, lovely