[Verse 1]
There we were, me and her
Side by side on the sofa
Just me and her doin' fine

We had a nice little chat as we
Sat on the sofa
Found that her hand was in mine

I told her she was nice to know
And I held her oh-so near
Then I turned the lights down low
But she shouted in my ear:

[Chorus]
Get your hair cut
Get your hair cut
To be absolutely blunt

With your hair cut
Like a coconut
You look as if your head's on
Back-to-front

[Verse 2]
I met her dad. Not so bad
For a bloke on assistance
Hеr mum gives a shout from the hall
Her aunty Flo said hеllo
From a very safe distance
Her granny says nothin' at all

I removes my hat and then
I takes a step inside
I said, "It's turned out nice again"
To which they all as one replied:

[Chorus]
Get your hair cut
Get your hair cut
It's an absolute disgrace

With your hair cut
Like a coconut
How can we tell which end you
Keep your face?

[Verse 3]
There we were, me and her
Side by side at the altar
When her mum starts to say

She says, "Oh, Dad, ain't it sad
That we're losin' a daughter"
And Dad answered, "Hip hip hooray!"
The parson looked at me and sighed
Saying, "Now we are gathered here
Tell me: Which one is the bride?"
And the choir sang loud and clear:

[Chorus]
Get your hair cut
Get your hair cut
And you'd better do it soon

With your hair cut
Like a coconut
It's gonna be a funny
Honeymoon

[Outro]
[Choir]
Get your hair cut
Get your hair cut

[Bernard Cribbins (shouting)]
Pack it in! Stop it! Pack it in! I've had enough of this. I'm gonna let it grow as long as I like! I'll be single and long-haired with all them—I don't know, but I'll find them! There must be a place for long-haired lovely lads like me: single blokes, all with long hair all hangin' down on the ground, with little trollies behind so it doesn't get caught in the tram lines as you're walkin' along the …