MENDEL:
Homosexuals
Women with children
Short insomniacs
And a teeny tiny band

Come, right in
The welcome mat is on the floor
Let's, begin
This story needs an ending

Homosexual
Father with children
One bar mitzvah that
Is scrupulously planned

ALL:
Lover's come and lover's go
Lover's fight and sing fortissimo
Give these handsome boys a hand
Welcome to Falsetto-land

TRINA and JASON:
Fancy families

DR. CHARLOTTE:
Women internists
CORDELIA:
Kosher caterers

WOMEN:
Who are trying to expand

ALL:
Everybody on his mark

WOMEN:
Congregate at Central Park

MEN:
Pretty boys are in demand

ALL:
Welcome to Falsetto-land
WHEE!
WHOO!
What a world we live in!
WHEE!
WHOO!
What a world we live in!

MARVIN:
It's about time, don't ya think?
It's about time to grow up, don't ya think?
It's about time to grow up and face the music
It's about time
I had a wife
I had a lover
He ran for cover, she I divorced
I got hissed when I cracked my lover on the wrist
She got pissed and ran off with my psychiatrist
So I don't have a psychiatrist
Except on the Jewish holidays but I still have my son on the weekends
Just on the weekends
And some very good friends
But I don't have a lover anymore
Oh my God
When am I gonna get over this?
When am I gonna get over this?
When am I gonna get over this?

ALL except MARVIN:
Homosexuals

TRINA:
Women with children

ALL:
Ex-Ex Lovers

MENDEL:
And a teeny tiny band
ALL:
Welcome to Falsettoland

MENDEL:
Psycho-analysts

JASON:
Child insomniacs

ALL:
Welcome to Falsettoland
Liberal Democrats

DR. CHARLOTTE and CORDELIA:
Spiky lesbians

ALL:
Welcome to Falsettoland

WHIZZER and CORDELIA:
Kosher caterers

Add MENDEL and JASON:
Short insomniacs
Hypochondriacs

Add ALL:
Yiddish Americans
Crazy families
Radiologists
Intellectuals
Nervous wrecks!
Ah
AH!
Welcome to Falsetto-land

MARVIN:
It's about time, don't ya think
It's about time to grow up, don't ya think
It's about time to grow up and face the music
It's about time
One day I'd like to be
As mature as my son, who's twelve and a half
And this tall!
That's all I'd like to be
It's about growing up, getting older, living on a lover's shoulder
Learning love is not a crime
It's about time
It's about time
It's about time
It's about-