Fat ugly fat man swam
In a red tire made of stone
A painted lady paddled next to him
With two poodles on her lap
Garbo quietly picked a flower
While the chauffeur won his check again
And Barrymore took a noon day nap
And diamonds fell like rain
Cisco Kid had a bald-headed waitress
Trapped 'neath a bed of brass
The French cook served them chocolate ants
And some cold cuts on the grass
Louella ripped her zebra pants
In the Polo Lounge
And Errol Flynn was not let in
Cause he was coming down

Up in Xanadu diamonds fell like rain
Citizen Kane was king, poor Citizen Kane!

Valentino suddenly appeared
In his midnight blue tuxedo
Had a falcon on his shoulder
Eating chicken from his hands
And Fatty Arbuckle waddled by
On way to the bath house green
Frankenstein ate the leading lady
And licked the carcass clean
Up in Xanadu diamonds fell like rain
Citizen Kane was king, poor Citizen Kane