[Verse 1]
I was playing XBox with a couple of friends
When my mom called and said grandma's dying again
I told her, that sucks, and to say I said hi
Mom yelled at me and told me that I had to drop by
So off to the nursing home we drove in my car
There were sleeping dudes in wheelchairs all over the yard
And inside, the halls was scary and creepily lit it
Smelled like someone took a dump and then rotisserie'd it
Then I found Granny's room and I went inside
"Good to see you" she said, "You too" I lied
So she started talkin' about the stuff she ate this week
I stuck my friends with her and went to take a leak
Pee'd all I could pee 'til I could no more
So bored I opened up one of her cabinet drawers
"Oh my God!" I shouted as I burst back in
"Gram's got a prescription of Oxycontin?"

[Refrain X2]
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
We can get doped up and then all get stoned
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
I'd have been there more if only I'd known!

[Verse 2]
Old man Bernie likes to talk 'bout the Korean War
And if he use all of his Percodan, he just gets more
And Miss Edna doesn't care for the blacks a lot
But she's got Glaucoma so she gets good pot
Gladys here only has diabetes
So the best you're gonna find is Tylenol 3's
But, Karl is my man, he's got like AIDS in his brain
And I swear to God that dude can even get cocaine
So we rip a couple lines, put on some records
Bitch about kids and talk 'bout the weather
Steve craps his pants, we all leave the room
We pass, I'll take naps, some nurses bring food
Day after day as time goes on by
Some people don't make it, we get sad and cry
But new people move in and we all make friends
With new stories, points of view, and prescriptions
I guess the point is that the elderly are people too
And you never know how long they're gonna be with you
But they're sweet and they're lonely and they still need friends
So be a good kid and go and visit them
[Refrain X2]
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
We can get doped up and then all get stoned
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
I'd have been there more if only I'd known!