[Verse 1]
And irony is okay, I suppose, culture is to blame
You try and mask your pain in the most postmodern way
You lack substance when you say something like, "Oh, what a shame"
It's just a self-referential way that stops you having to be human
I'm assuming you'll balloon when you remove the dirty spoon
And start consuming like a human, that's what I am assuming

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm sure that you're not just another girl
I'm sure that you're gonna say that I was sexist
I feel like you're running out of all the things I liked you for

[Chorus]
Why can't we be friends when we are lovers?
'Cause it always ends with us hating each other
Instead of calling me out, you should be pulling me in
I've just got one more thing to say

[Verse 2]
And why would you believe you could control how you're perceived
When at your best, you're intermediately versed in your own feelings?
Keep on putting off conceiving, it's only you that you're deceiving
Oh, don't have a child, don't cramp your style, I'll leave it

[Chorus]
Why can't we be friends when we are lovers?
'Cause it always ends with us hating each other
Instead of calling me out, you should be pulling me in
I've just got one more thing to say
[Outro]
I'm just pissed off because you pied me off
After your show when you let go of my hand
In front of some sket who wanted bit on your—
Nah, I'm just messing