[Verse 1]
I’ve got new red pants
Got them from a stranger, yeah
I look so attractive that it could kill you
It could kill me too

[Verse 2]
I’ve got scoliosis
I need Tylenol
Help me break this fever, throw me a curveball
I’ll swing at that curveball, yeah

[Chorus]
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-oo-ooh
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-ooh

[Verse 3]
I’ve got bad tinnitus
Drives me up the wall
Leave me underwater, I don't want to hear it
I don’t want to hear at all
I’m not into romance
I am into blood
Won’t you bring them a cup, dear
They’re gonna let mine, just like Joan of Arc

[Chorus]
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-oo-ooh
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-ooh

[Verse 4]
I've got tendonitis
God, I need my hands
Won’t you grant me this one, I’ll make a trade with you
You can have my red pants

[Outro]
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-oo-ooh
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-oo-ooh
Ooh, oo-oo-ooh, ooh, oo-ooh