The world according to chris

[Chris]

Guess what, ever since the world began

Same plot, everyone's been dumping on their fellow man

Pounding people they feel better than

I hope you're taking notes cause

You feel everyone deserves a shot

Get real

Some of us have got it, girl

And some got squat

That's the truth, oh honey, like it or not

I hate to break it to you



My daddy taught me you get no where being nice

So now I'm sharing his advice:

The world according to Chris is

Better to strike then get struck

Better to screw then get screwed

You'd probably think its bizarre

But that's the way things are



[Sue]

But that doesn't mean it has to be that way

What does it cost to be kind?



[Chris]

Ew, what have you done with my best friend? Billy, tell me, am I right, or am I right?



[Billy]

Trust me

I swear

There's a dick in every class

Not fair

Each and every time I fail those losers pass

Hey, everyone of them can kiss my ass



[Chris]

You wonder why I love him



[Billy]

One year, there was this good looking guy

So queer

And on top of that he has a wandering eye

One day he looks at me

And, huh, bye-bye



[Chris]

I bet he got the message



[Chris and Billy]

We're here to tell you how this whole damn freak show works



[All]

Oh, yeah yeah yeah



[Chris and Billy]

If you don't listen, then you're jerks!



[All]

The world according to Chris is

Better to punch than get punched

Better to burn than get burned

Learn that and you're gonna go far

Cause that's the way things are



[Chris]

Hoo-nya nya nya nya na na na na

Hoo-nya nya nya na na na na



[All]

Hoo-nya nya nya nya na na na na

Hoo-nya nya nya na na na na



[Sue]

Do you believe her?



[Tommy]

C'mon, she's just being Chris



[Sue]

You weren't there. It was awful. We were hurting Carrie



[Tommy]

Oh, I'm sure it wasn't that bad



[Sue]

Tommy, you don't understand

What was just a joke got out of hand

We kept on screaming til she hit the floor



[Tommy]

C'mon, everybody was doing it



[Sue]

Hey, I was in there, too

What came over me was something new

I did things I'd never done before

And now I wish there's something I could do or say

I've never ever felt this way



[Tommy]

Look, Sue

Don't be so hard on yourself

You can tell me to keep my mouth shut

But, wanna know what I'd advise?



[Sue]

What?



[Tommy]

Apologize



[Sue]

Apologize. Oh, Tommy! That's genius!



[Chris]

Ew, Sue

I can tell you're feeling sad



[All]

Boo Hoo!

So, we clobbered Carrie and that's too damn bad



[Chris]

This is why you've gotta love my dad



[All]

He's got the right idea



[Chris]

My daddy taught me who's on top and who's below



[All]

Who's below



[Chris]

And now its time I let you know

The world according to Chris...



[Sue]

You're joking, right? You can't possibly mean all this?



[Chris]

Why are you being such a buzz-kill?



[Sue]

Chris, grow up



[All]

Hoo-nya nya nya na na na na

Hoo-nya nya nya nya na na na na



[Billy]

Let''s start this party, people!

The World According to Chris (x4)



[Chris]

(softly)

The world according to Chris is

Better to whip than get whipped

Even if somebody bleeds

Please

Nobody dies from a scar

And that's the way things

Are