[Verse 1]
Pop open a bottle of bubbly
Here's to another god damn new year
And outside, two million drunk Bostonians
Are getting ready to sing "Auld Lang Syne" out of tune
I sit there in my easy chair, looking at the clouds, orange with celebration
And I wonder if you're out there

[Chorus]
Hey! The ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time

[Verse 2]
Pop open a third bottle of bubbly
Yeah, and I take that bottle of champagne
Go into the kitchen, stand in front of the kitchen window
And I take all my clothes off, take that bottle of champagne
And I pour it on my head, feel it cascade through my hair
And across my chest, and the phone rings
And it's my mother
And she says "Hi honey, how's Boston?"
And I stand there, all alone on New Year's Eve
Buck naked, drenched in champagne, looking at a bunch of strangers
Looking at them, looking at me, looking at them, and I say:
"Oh, I'm fine Mom, how's Washington?"
[Chorus]
Hey! The ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time
Hey! The ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time, time, time, time

[Verse 3]
So, I guess the party line is "I followed you up here"
Well, I don't know about that
Mainly because knowing about that would involve knowing about some pathetic, ridiculous, and absolutely true things about myself that I'd rather not admit to right now
Woke up at 3 A.M. with the radio on, that Gladys Knight and the Pips song on
About how she'd rather live in his world with him than live in her own world alone
And I laid there, head spinning, trying to fall asleep
And I thought to myself: "Oh, Gladys, girl, I love you but, oh! Get a life!"

[Chorus]
Hey! The ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time
Hey! The ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time
Time, time, time