DAVID
Chilly and shivery
Out on the river, we

MARK
Found us a corner to chat in

DAVID
As we were circling Manhattan

DAVID, MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN
On the S. S. Bernard Cohn

MELINDA
I never think of Manhattan as an island 'til we get to go around it and see how gorgeous it is. Isn't this heaven?

MARK
Absolutely

DAVID
Dear Mr. Cohn, if by chance you exist
Tell Mrs. Cohn you deserve to be kissed
After tonight you're the number one Mister Cohn
I've known

MELINDA
When I was 12, I heard Ethel Waters sing on the same bill as Josephine Baker. It was the absolute end! Oh, there it is!
MARK
The Empire State Building?

MELINDA
My apartment. You missed it. Where do you live?

DAVID
Time went tick-tocking on

MELINDA
Then, when I was 15, I ran away from home and joined Blanche Caloway and her Joy Boys

DAVID
Me, I kept yakking on

MELINDA
Blanche told me, "You get something out of a lyric the writer only dreams about." I told her, "I get something out of a lyric the writer doesn't even know he wrote."

DAVID
Him, he just listened and listened!

PRESTON AND ROGER
Hi, guys!

PAULA
Preston, Roger, you are not going to believe this
MURIEL
Davey went on a date

ALAN
On a boat

MURIEL
With someone else

ALAN
Not Warren

*incomprehensible gibberish as they yell over each other*

DAVID
WAIT! It gets better
He never looked
Once at a sight
And if his kindness
Was being polite
Somehow his eyes never left me alone
Aboard the S. S

DAVID, MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
Bernard Cohn
MELINDA
So, I'm singing backup for this friend of mine, and this guy comes up to me, and he says, "I'm Arthur Flegenheimer, but you can call me Dutch."

MARK
Dutch Schultz, the gangster?

MELINDA
I was supposed to have dinner with him at the Palace Chophouse in Newark the night they shot him in the back. You have the prettiest blue eyes

DAVID
Dear Mr. Cohn, if by chance you exist

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
If by chance you exist

DAVID
Tell Mrs. Cohn you deserve to be kissed

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
You deserve to be kissed

DAVID
After tonight

DAVID, MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
You're the number one Mister

DAVID
Cohn

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
Mr. Cohn

DAVID
I've known

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
What a wonderful time

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
Tick tock tick
Tick tock tick
Tick tock tick
Tick tock tick

DAVID
Time went tick-tocking on

MELINDA
Me, I kept yakking on

DAVID AND MELINDA
Him, he just listened and listened!
He never looked
Once at a sight
And if his kindness
Was being polite
Somehow his eyes never left me alone
Aboard the S. S. Bernard Cohn

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRES
Aboard the S.S

DAVID
I said the S.S

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
The S.S. Bernard

DAVID
The S.S. Bernard

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
Aboard the S.S
On the S.S. BC

DAVID, MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
All aboard
Somehow his eyes never left me alone

DAVID
Aboard the S. S

MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
You said that before!

MARK
You are truly one of the most remarkable people I have ever met in my life

DAVID
Can you believe it?

DAVID, MURIEL, PAULA, HANNAH, ALAN, ROGER, PRESTON
Aboard the S. S. Bernard Cohn