[TOBIAS]
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention, perlease?
Are your nostrils a-quiver and tingling
As well at that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell?
Yes they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course
Ladies and gentlemen
You can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!

There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Savoury and sweet pies
As you'll see
You who eat pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies
Used to be

[MRS. LOVETT]
Toby!
[TOBIAS]
Coming!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Ale, there!

[TOBIAS]
Right, Mum!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Quick, now!
Nice to see you, dearie
How have you been keeping?
Cor, me bones is weary
Toby, one for the gentleman...
Hear the birdies cheeping
Helps to keep it cheery
Toby, throw the old woman out!

What's my secret?
Frankly, dear, forgive my candor
Family secret
All to do with herbs
Things like being careful with your coriander
That's what makes the gravy grander!
[TOBIAS/MRS. LOVETT]
Eat them slow and feel the crust, how thin she/I rolled it
Eat them slow cause every one's a prize
Eat them slow cause that's the lot and now we've sold it
Come again tomorrow!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Hold it!

Bless my eyes!
Fresh supplies!

[MRS LOVETT, TOBIAS]
How about it, dearie? Is that a pie
Be here in a twinkling Fit for a king
Just confirms my theory A wondrous sweet
Toby, God watches over us And most delectable thing?
Didn't have an inkling You see, Mum
Positively eerie Why, there is no meat pie

[MRS. LOVETT]
Toby, throw the old woman out!