[Verse 1]
All I wanted was one perfect Christmas
All I got was some coal and some switches
Ours is the dimmest house on the block
They're hanging stockings, and we're hanging socks

[Verse 2]
Doing shots of room temperature peppermint Schnapps
As the yew log on TV crackles and pops
They had to cut back on most of the staff
Santa's a joker and I need a laugh

[Chorus]
Still I believe in the spirit of forgiveness, yes I do
Cause nobody gets a perfect Christmas

[Verse 3]
All I wanted was one perfect Christmas
All I got was some coal and some switches
That's ain't no sleigh bell jingling on the rooftop
The landlord is here and he's changing the locks

[Chorus]
Still I believe in the spirit of forgiveness, yes I do
Cause nobody gets (a perfect Christmas)
Nobody gets (a perfect Christmas)
Nobody gets...
[Outro] x8
Merry Christmas