[ELDER PRICE]
Long ago, when I was five
I snuck in the kitchen late at night
And ate a donut with a maple glaze

My father asked who ate the snack
I said that it was my brother Jack
And Jack got grounded for fourteen days

I've lived with that guilt
All of my life
And the terrible vision
That I had that night

[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
No! Please, I don't wanna go back!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Down, down thy soul is cast
From the Earth whenceforth ye fell
The path of fire leads thee to
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

Welcome back to
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream
You are having
A Spooky Mormon Hell Dream now
[ELDER PRICE]
And now I've gone and done it again!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Rectus!

[ELDER PRICE]
I've committed another awful sin!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Dominus!

[ELDER PRICE]
I left my mission companion
All alone

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Spookytus!

[ELDER PRICE]
Oh God, how could I have done this to you?

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Deus!

[ELDER PRICE]
How could I break rule seventy-two?
[MINIONS OF HELL]
Creepyus!

[ELDER PRICE]
And now my soul hath just been thrown
Back into Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Down, down to Satan's realm!
See where you belong!
There is nothing you can do!
No escape from
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!

[JESUS, spoken]
You blamed your brother for eating the donut, and now you walk out on your mission companion? You're a dick!

[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
Jesus, I'm sorry!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Jesus hates you, this we know!
For Jesus just told you so!

[SKELETON 1]
You remember Lucifer!
[SKELETON 2]
He is even spookier!

[SATAN]
Minions of Hades
Have you heard the news?
Kevin was caught playing hooky!
Now he's back
With all you Cath'lics and Jews
It's super spooky-wooky!

[ELDER PRICE]
I'm sorry, Lord, it was selfish of me
To break the rules, please
I don't wanna be in this
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!
Genghis Khan
Jeffrey Dahmer
Hitler
Johnnie Cochran!
The spirits all surround you
Spooky, spooky, spooky!

[ADOLF HITLER]
I started a war, and killed millions of Jews!

[GENGHIS KHAN]
I slaughtered the Chinese!

[JEFFREY DAHMER]
I stabbed a guy and fucked his corpse!

[JOHNNIE COCHRAN]
I got O.J. freed!

[ELDER PRICE]
You think that's bad?
I broke rule seventy-two!

[HITLER, KHAN, DAHMER, COCHRAN]
Oh?

[ELDER PRICE]
I left my companion!
I'm way worse than you!
I hate this Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
Oh, Heavenly Father! P-please, give me one more chance! I won't break the rules again!

[Instrumental Break]

[ELDER PRICE]
I can't believe Jesus called me a dick!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Welcome, welcome
To the Spooky Mormon Hell Dream
You are never waking up
From Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[ELDER PRICE, spoken & MINIONS OF HELL]
Oh, please help me Father! Please let me wake up! (Down, down thy soul is cast)
Give me one more chance! I won't let you down again! (From the Earth henceforth ye fell)

[MINIONS OF HELL]
This must be it, you must be there
You must be in
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream now