(Verse 1)
I wish it wasn't like this/
Got a feeling that many see my life and get the thrive to be like Chris/
But you only got the good half/
So let's walk down a road I tend to block on the path/
I wish that I was seven for a second or a flash/
Just one more time before the year it got bad/
Way before the news of the fatal car crash/
And instead of saying Bob, let him here me call him Dad/
I wish my momma never toppled/
From the grief, family feud full beef and a battle with the bottle/
And I wish it wasn't so hostile/
I felt that should help, but a child can't mold a role model/
I wish little bro ain't get taken by the state, and them giving me a choice in my fate/
I wish my sister didn't have to sacrifice/
The best years of her life to make sure me and Patrick lived right/
I'm sorry, but you did a damn good job/
And saw the whole thing through even when we had odds/
I wish big bro got the job with his music/
Real talk I've felt guilt that he couldn't share my movements/
But it made our bond grow even closer/
And I keep going cause I got both our prides on my shoulders/
I just wish it wasn't like this, damn/
(Verse 2)
I wish I was better friend/
I'm not a bad one but know I'm light on the time that I spend/
It's more problematic when the distance added in/
But I even drop the ball when it comes to checking in/
I wish I still had a team/
Tight knit like them boys that walked around and called themselves the regime/
Feel like when Ron died we unraveled at seems/
And then life moved us on to go and do our own things/
I wish I would have helped Rich, try to save him out the river, and this line don't exist/
The same goes for Jason, wish that train would've missed/
And the level of your pain ain't exist/
I wish loss didn't just make me numb/
This cold world put my brain on a freeze and it's best to play dumb/
And go through life like an upright thumb/
Pretend its all good and hitchhike with eyes to the sun/
Wish me and Gabi worked better/
She ain't left but our child is the glue that still holds us together/
She wants the old me but her toll changed me/
To the point that getting back is a role I can't see/
But my son will never go without his pops/
So for him, I'm a give it all I got/
But in the end, I just wish it wasn't like this, you know what/
(Verse 3)
I wish I couldn't write this/
Having talent is a cruel muthafucka when success never light switch/
But in retrospect it could be worse/
Because many give they last and still never got first/
Knowing that you carry a supremacy of tunes/
But denied access even though you in the room/
This is not disrespectful dawg I'm just being real/
Meeting all these famous folk, it never paid a fucking bill/
I wish I didn't give a damn/
That I chose to know my role and not my heart backstage when at Summer Jam/
And give them bars instead of pics on a silly cam/
And leave a real impression of the man that I really am/
I'm a force, but never one to force/
I was missing out on meals being stuck on my course/
It's hard to stand tall steady coming up short/
Refuse to put on they shoes and that kept me off the court/
And I wish I could just let it go/
Do other shit, but this itch is a bitch in the only life I know/
And it's foul, rarely fair but we still playing/
Given less never more but I'm not here to quote the raven/
And every single time I'll deny the salvation/
Been free, I'm just a slave to creation/
Damn I just wish I wasn't like this/
(Outro)
I wish it wasn't like this/
I wish it wasn't like this/