[Intro]
Wassup, wassup y'all
LD a.k.a. Young Dick
Had to make a track about smoking weed, man
Every rapper got a track about smoking weed, so I didn't really have a choice
But, I guess I made mine a little bit different is all
It's like, it's like, it's like

[Verse 1]
Blowin' somethin' sticky, word to pre-cum dicks
I'm with my team in this bitch and we all getting lit
I mean the weed hella loud, like a teenage chick
And we been smokin' for a minute, yeah, we blowin' on that ganja
And now I'm huffin' and puffin', I'm chokin' on that bong
And the dope I'm on is bomb, I'm smokin' that Vietcong
Getting real high, watchin' funny videos of Bill Nye
Tell me that this jam isn't still fly

[Interlude]
*Bill Nye theme song playing in the background*
"Ayo, check this out... hahahaha..."
"Oh, my god... I forgot all about this shit
This shit is fucking crazy... hahahaha..."
"Holy shit..!
Wow, I'm like, uncomfortably high..."
[Verse 2]
Now I'm getting hungrier than a motherfucker
Put some chicken nuggets in the oven at 400
Where'd I put that honey mustard?
Lookin' all around the cupboard for that motherfucker
Until I discovered a custard, I covered with butter from last week
How long do them thangs keep?
Guess I better ask Jeeves
Go get my computer, but I'm starin' at the damn screen (Wow)
Damn D, you forgettin' what your task be
The puff-puff pass gotcha gassed, now your man is fucked

[Chorus]
And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff, but I think I'm way too high
And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit, but I think my brains too fried
And, yeah, I'm fuckin' faded, but I hate it
I'm prayin' that I make it, afraid I'm goin' to die
I'm too blazed, it's too late
To save Dicky from this fuckin' place, cause he too high

[Verse 3]
Now I'm freakin' out up in this bitch
Can't control it and my homies passin' round another spliff
So I bolted to the BR, consulted with the mirror
Lil Dicky please step up, you pathetic
Cause the weed in you beating you
Then all a sudden I'm on the toilet beatin' my penis blue
But I ain't cummin' because as I'm imaginin' fuckin' somethin'
That pretty girl I'm humpin'
Becoming my fuckin' cousin, or mother or brother
Or some other fucking disgusting person
My brain is bein' strange, 'cause I'm high as a plane
I ain't deranged, I'm just sayin' it's a violent strain
So I go back to the back where they packing up cigars
Dippin' snacks, kickin' back, starin' at some Avatars
Then I flipped, took a decade and a half to make that shit
Yet they couldn't put a second and a half up in that script
How the fuck a human being wanna fuck a blueish green 7' 3'' tail-havin'-ass thing?
Man, I'm high as fuck
[Chorus]
And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff, but I think I'm way too high
And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit, but I think my brains too fried
And, yeah, I'm fuckin' faded, but I hate it
I'm prayin' that I make it, afraid I'm goin' to die
I'm too blazed, it's too late
To save Dicky from this fuckin' place, cause he too high

[Verse 4]
Rock hard cock, 'cause I'm watchin' Katy Perry
And in her video the whole world's made of candy (Wow)
Damn, I ain't even got no candy
So now I'm at the fucking C store where your man be torn than a motherfucker
Peanut M&M's or a Twix? Can't commit, so I count the benefits on my hands
Goddamn, now I'm weary of the man, yeah the cashier, “Homeland”, Nazir!
S-S-S-So damn tweaked
I can't even cross the motherfuckin' street
Gotta wait until that motherfuckin' green
Now I'm back up at the crib, and I'm laughin' at giraffes long necks
Gotta shit, but the path to the bathroom is complex
Crafted a long text, took about an hour
Took a scary shower, now I'm sittin' naked on the ground
Man, I'm fucked up
I'm bout to call my mom up and tell her what's up
This sucks, I'm high as fuck
[Chorus]
And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff, but I think I'm way too high
And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit, but I think my brains too fried
And, yeah, I'm fuckin' faded, but I hate it
I'm prayin' that I make it, afraid I'm goin' to die
I'm too blazed, it's too late
To save Dicky from this fuckin' place, cause he too high

[Outro]
Oh my god
This shit is not fun, man
I can't stop thinkin' 'bout weird ass shit
Watching Lady Gaga
I can't stop thinking about who the fuck Alejandro is
Who the fuck is he?
Jerking off, I came during the position change
Like, in the porn, like when they was changing positions, I came
Ain't nothing worse than that
Nothing worse than that shit, everybody knows that
Aye, but like, I've been thinking 'bout like
When the sun goes behind the clouds, what does it do?
Like, does it smile?
Like, what does it do, does it show it's dick?
It's something to think about
Like it's doing something, and we can't see it
So like, what's it doin? I don't even know like, what it's doing
Because, if it's showing it's dick, I'm tryna see that
I bet the sun got a big ass dick
Alright, I gotta go to bed
Fuck, I forgot about them chicken nuggets from the first verse
They still in the oven, damn, probably burnt as shit by now
I guess I gotta go get them, fire hazard
Goodnight