[Intro: Lil Dicky]
Whoa... so hard
Jews is never supposed to go H.A.M., but fuck it

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]
Okay dat boy D-I-C-K-Y ballin'
I been spittin' hella writtens cuz I'm finna get my wallet good
Bitches know I holla good
Graduated college wit a bag of fucking honors but instead of making dollars
I been acting like a kid
Rappin' bout my fuckin' dick
And what started as a joke became the hottest fuckin' shit
Killin' bitches, Michael Vick, and women you know what this is
Semi-colons in my texts, my instant message game is sick (HO!)
Fuck that shit, when I rub that bitch
When I be up in the club I gotta tuck that dick
When I bring a chicken back, and then I fuck that bitch
I'mma cum quick, I ain't playin' witcha
Ay you know, I'm spittin crack up on the track
I'm not attacking all you blacks
Who try to rap, but I'm just saying that

[Hook: Lil Dicky]
I'm coming for these muthafuckin' brothas making money
Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now
Ladies get them pants down
Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now
[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]
I ain't on that kosher shit
Facebook I be poking chicks
Came up in the 90's yeah im on some Hocus Pocus shit
I don't push a lotus, I'm drivin a fuckin' Focus
But notice that I got the coldest and dopest designer sodas
I'm an Izze sippin', bitty-kissin muthafuckin' G
The way I cum on chickens, call Lil' Dicky mozzarella cheese
I'm getting pussy, getting bread, I get a lot of fucking yeast
And I been Dustin Diamonds off, they bout to call Lil' Dicky Screech (WHOA!)
Tampon shit, 'cuz I rap for the flow
And I get a lotta bitches when I mac like a pro
Gotta mac, it's a pro, never nap, but I doze
I'm a little bit of black, like I shat in the snow
And I know ya'll bitches feelin' that
Ain't as nobody real as that
Rappin' like Jamaica’s population, I been killin' tracks
(Like, in the Olympic Games? You ain’t get it?)

[Hook: Lil Dicky]
I'm coming for these muthafuckin' brothas making money
Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now
Ladies get them pants down
Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]
See them bitches over there?
Please don't fucking over-stare
That's who I be stroking, young and smoking like they over DARE
Okay I was joking, I don't know dem I should grow a pair
But I am not the most efficient closer when I'm sober, scared
So I'm drinkin, fuck you thinkin'?
Middle Day that's word to Lincoln
My left foot is always stinkin'
I ball good so I ain't blinkin'
Baby whatcha know about a muthafuckin' dog
Fuckin' cats up the ass metaphorically...uh, paws
(I got that pause in on time, right?)
[Hook: Lil Dicky]
I'm coming for these muthafuckin' brothas making money
Errbody love the funny little buddy making jams now
Ladies get them pants down
Sorry to my god and my synagogue and my mom because this kike is going H.A.M. now