[Intro]
Yeah
Aye, can y'all turn my headphones down? Significantly?
Cool, that's good
It was super loud

[Verse]
First of all, this shit about me
I ain't made this shit for y'all, that's the damn thing
I been waitin' pretty long to get on some shit and rip it for Dicky
So just consider this my damn theme song, baby
I been working hella hard, though
There's people telling me I'm 'bout to be a star, bro
But when I play 'em some of this, they like nobody want the pissed Lil Dicky
You the funny kid, that's where your card go
That metaphor about my lane, if you're retardo
I'm bubblin' like I'm in a soda, word to Fargo
I'm tryna get the fuckin' fame
And it's a tricky little game you gotta play
Sometimes you gotta tell your heart "No"
Here's the problem I been havin' (Uh)
I wanna make my favorite type of music (Uh)
And the shit I like to bump is not the type I'm brewin'
I be on that "Fuck the world, you motherfuckers losin'" type of shit
Like all you haters, look at what the fuck I'm doing
All my favorite rap is not amusing
And I love my funny stuff, I hope it's not confusing
I'm just saying, when you doing something time consumin'
Every now and then you wanna spazz
Why I didn't go with jazz, muhfucka
Get up in yo ass, muhfucka
Y'all are trash, you ain't even know the half
I could rattle off a lot if I position the rap game
But honestly I'm not in the position for that claim
To carry any weight, I just gotta carry on and wait
'Til a motherfucker carry all the weight
Hypothetically, though, I'd probably tell you that I'm better than you'll ever be, bro
I probably tell you it's objective, I'm more impressive
You pressin' play, and form a perspective
I'm guessin' more or less it won't be competitive
Y'all adorable, sedative kind of rap is so deplorably edited
Nothin's worse than when a moron's repetitive
I don't get it, how is everyone the same dude?
The rookie walkin' on the court like, "Man, I can't lose"
They playing Dicky, everybody in the room be like, "That's some shit"
Play 'em yo' bum ass, they be like "That's some shit" (Bums)
Y'all are bubbles wit' the rappin'
Lil Dicky get it popping, you could say he bubble wrappin' (Uh)
The irony in all of this is I been funny rappin'
Yet the youngin snappin' to the point where all of y'all look funny rappin' (Uh)
Congratulations, y'all can write a hook
At my graduation, they was sayin' I could write a book
If a Rotten Tomatoes site existed for us rappers
I would be a 97, y'all would hover 'round a 64 (Uh)
Little Dicky spit that Pixar
Hope you seeing why I really like to spit hard
Only problem is I'm rappin' to rappers
To the people that be listenin', that world doesn't matter
Wanna know what the advantage of the rapper who black is?
The N-word is his antagonist
Before you get all huff and puff about it, think about it, be analysts
The fact they always use, it's no accident
For example, I could be like "Go figure
I don't think I'm one to fuck with all you ho ______"
Y'all could fill in the blank
But that'll make it so they don't gotta rap at a rapper
That applies to every detractor
But even if I had a word like it, the nerd never disturbed
It's absurd but I'm looking 'round and ain't nobody verse me
I don't think a mothafucka's ever tried to hurt me
Everyone I see has been supportive on this journey
Like where my haters at? I'm thirsty (Uh)
I just really wanna talk my shit, be like, "Y'all ain't shit"
But y'all ain't shit, like, y'all don't exist
I could talk about the people that are dicks but I feel like it's whack
That'll get old quick, Robin Williams in Jack
Who the fuck is my antagonist?
Is it you? Is it you? (Is it you? Is it you?)
If it's you, let me tell you somethin'
You ain't even got a clue 'bout the shit that's comin'
You don't wanna be the dude in five years like
"The fuck, I dissed that
Shit was pretty clear, how the fuck I miss that?" (Uh)
You know that I ain't fucking light, bruh
I just fucked around and did this overnight, bruh
I just fucked around and quit a fucking job
Where I was makin' triple digits then the comma got involved, dog (Uh)
This wasn't rappin' or trappin'
This was rappin' or a big old fuckin' house wit' a family
Who the fuck is listenin' that's been making Dicky so angry? (Uh)
Is it you? Is it you?
I'm just waitin' on some non-believers
The writing isn't on the wall, it's comin' out your speakers (Uh)
Anybody disagreein' being so facetious, homie I mean it
Forget the website, I'm the only mothafuckin' rap genius (Uh)
Where you doubters at? I'm tryna hear it
Maybe it's the mothafuckas never paying mind to lyrics
I would dumb it down for y'all to try make it more appealin'
But the ones who hang on every word think I'm kinda peerless (Yeah)
But even wit' no attention, you can kinda tell this mothafucka killin' this section
You can kinda tell this motherfucker still an erection
But gettin' harder by the minute, just admit it, it's sexy
(I'm a boner)
The funny fact about this shit, I gotta rap about the fact I wanna rap about this shit
To even rap about this shit
Nobody been sleepin' on Dicky
It's only been a year and bitches been sleepin' on Dicky
Nobody took over the game with they first tape (With they first tape)
This mothafucka hasn't struggled since the first grade (Since the first grade)
Add it up, there's no excuse to go berserk, Dave
Can't debate the shit, you got to skip, you not on first take (Whoa)
So what the fuck am I mad for?
What's some other shit that I could actually spazz for?
Maybe it's the fact that I been stuck in this lab for
A hunnid fuckin' days straight cookin' up raps or
The fact this shit been takin' over every thing in life
I gotta make it so I made the call to leave it all behind
That's my girl, that's my world, that's beyond bein' busy
Now the only one that gets to David Burd is Lil Dicky
[Outro]
See, I told you this about me
Go on and look up in the mirror, see without D
Who you hate, boy?
Only care about me, said I'm straight, boy
Maybe I'm the one that gotta hit when I wanna murder shit
Y'all probably thinking "Who is David Burd?" and shit
Y'all just wanna hear some LD
But I ain't made this shit for y'all, that's the damn thing
[Instrumental break]