I never was an easy child
I had a lot of fights at school
The careers adviser said to me
Here's what I think you should do:

Now you could be a sailor or
Maybe you could have your own ship
If you had an oil tanker
You wouldn't have to take no shit

I am the captain of this ship
And I will be obeyed
If you're not standing on the bridge
Then you're a galley slave

I sailed across the ocean, blue
I traveled round the seven seas
And up the coast of So-ma-li-a
Some pirates boarded me

And after about half an hour
The stupid motherfuckers knew
That when they tried to board my vessel
They bit off more than they could ever chew

I am the captain of this ship
And I will be obeyed
If you're not standing on the bridge
Then you're a galley slave
This deck, it will not wash itself
So get down on your knees
The sails they will not raise themselves
So get up in the breeze

Your back it will not whip itself
So bare your shoulders, please
My balls they will not wash themselves
So get down on your knees

I am the captain of this ship
And I will be obeyed
If you're not standing on the bridge
Then you're a galley slave

I am the captain of this ship
And I will be obeyed
If you're not standing on the bridge
You must be a galley slave

Row
You maggot-ridden dogs
Row