Good afternoon children well it's lovely to meet you
For the next three minutes I'm your substitute teacher
I'm not afraid of cliches
I'll be trying to reach you
Through the medium of interpretive dance moves

You put your left foot in
And you shake it about
But the crucial thing's to
Resist the urge to scream and to shout
And to watch the other dancers
When you take it back out
Enough to try the things you know that you can't do

Shimmy, shimmy
You've got the narcissistic shakes
Selfiestixamitosis
??

Weak knees and dislocated arms
And a gait that seems to hint that you got fucked on a farm(?)
But I suppose your idiosyncrasy has a curious charm
In the talent show of first round auditions

Because today we're in a serious classroom
Working on the skills that you acquire in the ballroom
In real life you can't just go and hide in the bathroom
And contemplate your own reflection
Shimmy, shimmy
You've got the narcissistic shakes
Selfiestixamitosis
??

Baby, baby
You're such a spineless flake
??
You're not awake

Trying to handle something that storms
And bombs ?? sweet mother of Christ
You think so you are
It's the lowest of bars
For a largely unexamined life

A very white house and ?? door
Played the long game but now they're winning the war
These aren't my people and they shouldn't be your
And your labels not your moral compass

So here's the part where I explain
Exactly what it is I mean
I clarify my philosophies
And cut away the tautologies
Now all experience is lived
And every point is valid
The point of human enquiry is to synthesise
I won't let it go
I hate to break it to you
Your reflection is actually kind of boring
You're fucking boring

Trying to handle something that storms
And bombs ?? sweet mother of Christ
You think so you are
It's the lowest of bars
For a largely unexamined life

A very white house and ?? door
Played the long game but now they're winning the war
These aren't my people and they shouldn't be your
And your labels not your moral compass

Shimmy, shimmy
Nice fucking try

No offense
??