[Verse 1]
Everything's dead here
Covered with plastic
Everything's fluoro
Evergreen matter
Gotta stop grass growin'
Cover that wormhole
Gotta stop birds from
Shitting on my lawn
When it don't matter
Everything's better
Throwaway plates are
Better for business
Everything's easy
Better for the earth is astroturf

[Chorus]
Six butterflies fluttered by
Looked horrified
"I just hatched from chrysalis
I've only hours, 36
I need a mate to do my biz and this is where I will die
Heartbreaking way to end
I will cry on astroturf"

[Verse 2]
Suitable texture
Suitable colour
Miniature forest
Better than nature
Makes me feel better
Knowing I won't go
Out on my lawn and
See an animal
Everything's sterile
Even infertile
Proud of my monster
It's never been straighter
Dog shit heaven
Better than the earth
It's astroturf
[Chorus]
Six butterflies fluttered by
Looked horrified
"I just hatched from chrysalis
I've only hours, 36
I need a mate to do my biz and this is where I will die
Heartbreaking way to end
I will cry on astroturf"

Astroturfing
Astroturfing
Astroturfing...
Astroturf
Astroturfing
Astroturfing
Astroturfing...
Astroturf
Astroturfing
Astroturfing
Astroturfing...
Better than the earth is astroturf

[Flute solo]

(Woo!)
(Wee!)

[Drum Solo]

(Wee!)

[Bass solo]

(Woo!)

[Chorus]
Six butterflies fluttered by
Looked horrified
"I just hatched from chrysalis
I've only hours, 36
I need a mate to do my biz and this is where I will die
Heartbreaking way to end
I will cry on astroturf"