[Verse 1]
Behind the counter stood
On crutches made of wood
A one-legged girl with blue-grey eyes
Warm and wise

[Verse 2]
I fled from that place
And from that lovely face
That the one-legged girl stole my heart and
I need help

[Verse 3]
Cold November morning
Buried under trees
I would stay here all day long
Except I have to eat

[Pre-Chorus]
Crack the woods, crack them open
Both with shovels and yells
Got to find little people
Got to ask for their help and tell them

[Chorus]
If I could run fast
As fast as the Flash
Or be as cool as Ash in
Army of Darkness
If I were Gaiking
Or maybe a Viking
Stronger than the Thing
Then I could win the one-legged girl
[Verse 4]
Getting close to nighttime
Running out of steam
By now I know my family's looking
And they'll know right where I'll be

[Pre-Chorus]
Spy the eyes in the twilight
Small and bright, warm and wise
Little hats, little fingers
And a flask full of wine, I'd tell them

[Chorus]
If my hands were wheels
And if my feet were wheels
Then I could roll over
All of my rivals
If I could cast a spell
Or do something swell
So that she could tell I was
Worth her attention

Ee-ay!

[Verse 5]
Arms drag me away
The little eyes wink out
Stuffed inside my pocket
Is a flask of wine
[Chorus]
Now I can run fast
As fast as the Flash
Or be as cool as Ash in
Army of Darkness
I could be Gaiking
Or maybe a Viking
Stronger than the Thing
Now I can win the one-legged girl

[Outro]
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey
Ah-ah-ah