[Round 1: Dirtbag Dan]
All right!
All you battle rap geeks are gonna hate what I do to Pete
'Cause I've committed some robberies in the past, but I'm about to paint my masterpiece
See, in the Bay, you would've been another victim
You're tripping if you think I ain't fucking with him
Of course he's the King of the Dot: his face is fucking covered with 'em!
This chubby fuck put on 50-plus, and act like we ain't noticed it
I'll bet you get pissed when trying on fits like triple-X is supposed to fit
Just look at his neck!
I'm willing to bet he's never had sex with a sober bitch!
Someone tell Monterey Liotta here his battle reign is OVER with!
Your performance is pathetic, hard to watch at best
If he starts to grab his chest, it's probably cardiac arrest
I guess the thing I find ironic is Pete knows every song on BuyProduct
Like weedheads know every word to every verse from "5 On It"!
Now, I know worse cats on tracks than The Saurus, who roll with DJs that stop short
Unfortunately for Pete, I mean actual cats and DJs that scratch - on chalkboards!
Now, I'm glad we're in Toronto
I don't care if you got more fame here, bitch
FUCK YOU, and the sixteen-year-old girl you came here with!

[Round 1: The Saurus]
Yo! Hold up! Hold up!
Yo, he tried to diss my lady
That makes this battle even easier
'Cause I'm surprised that YOU'RE allowed within 500 feet of her!
Yo! Yo!
Now, I ain't a standoffish person, but I am always first to swing
So, fans, watch this manslaughter: Dan's gotta learn some things
Now, either Sasquatch is lurking, and he can't stop from surfacing
Or this fag robbed the mask off the mascot from Burger King!
Now, he's 9 and 1 in Grind Time, but don't let the record deceive you
'Cause 90 percent of heads can tell that everyone's beat you
You're a level beneath me, I top an elite class
And to this point, friendship's got you a free pass!
These unnecessary overtimes are happening so frequent
Every time he gets a match with someone decent
It's like Dan and every judge have a contractual agreement!
Wait, I have a fucking secret
Nobody respects a giant beard: we're only laughing at the faggot underneath it!
And since your teens, you've been the weakest piece of everything I think I've seen
That's why it's hard distinguishing what you're the missing link between!
See, how can he be part of a progressive movement
When you look like every dude on the Scale of Evolution - EXCEPT THE HUMAN!?
[Round 2: Dirtbag Dan]
How the fuck am I supposed to respect your face!?
I wish you were a Muslim bitch, so as a test of faith, you had to wear garments to protect your face
I wanna wreck your face!
Stated in terms you could best relate:
"I'll turn this to a scene for the police to come investigate!"
Your fucking face flag's purple like Dipset
How the fuck do you get your dick wet
When you got a pig neck, and your skin tone is fishnet!?
Just ask how your cheeks look: very bad!
Children are scared, women stare and laugh
One look at his mug, it's apparent that he took a blast from some Planet Terror gas!
Someone in the back's like, "That's so sad!"
Come on, everybody, don't feel so bad
He still gets checks from Nickelodeon's GUTS 'cause they used his face to model the Aggro Crag!
This fucking CREEP likes to watch kids EAT and imagine how their lunch taste
You made the Monterey Bay Aquarium newsletter's front page for having a SquareBob sponge face!
Those craters were shaped by eight missiles
You got cheeks that scream, "I take crystal!"
Plus, I bet you stick your head out the window of a moving car and your fucking face WHISTLES!

[Round 2: The Saurus]
That's cool, that's cool
The original approach was tight
Yo! Yo!
You can go ahead and call me SpongeBob, but, homie, I'm convinced for sure
That your face makes you so insecure you gotta hide it with an inch of fur!
Shit, I'm surprised you didn't cut it: that's your cheapest winning tactic!
Plus, when you shave, you look like a completely different faggot!
Now, I'm one in half a dozen who've made battling a business
You're every dime-a-dozen fag I hate about the battle scene's existence!
I'm badgering the witness
Shit, I might not know Spanish, but I know the difference between a Latin King and this bitch!
Yo, you see, his culture has a language that he barely can speak
So, I'll take shots at the Latino you're embarrassed to be
This is not the little mijo that his parents conceived
You're like the opposite of Miklo from American Me!
Motherfucker, I got two careers more lucrative than the one you have
Today, I'm getting paid just for using you as a punching bag
This faggot thinks that sipping water can make him an income
'Cause there's spare change in every cup he's taken a drink from!
No, wait! Hold up!
No, real talk - Dan just got engaged, and to propose, he decided to get his lady dinner
Take her out, pay for drinks, get to see their favorite singer
Then, while he's playing their song
This dirty MOTHERFUCKER got down on one knee, and gave her finger an engagement ringworm
[Round 3: Dirtbag Dan]
I should just smash Pete and leave: run in, run out
Miklo? That's not American Me! That's Blood In, Blood Out!
Word is you let a porn star sit on your tongue
Now that shit on your tongue has some shit on its tongue!
So, when he came to me for advice about music, since I'm a vet
And I said, "Growth is the key, Pete.": not what I meant!
You are now competing with T-Rex's head...for Most Offensive and Oddly Grotesque!
Both are intense and ungodly at best
PH's gums are then probably what's next!
Dawg, I'm a threat, go for your neck
This you could never take, bro, I'm the best
Pete, if you hesitate, I'll make you levitate
You know my resume: show me respect!
Now, it's sad to say that Mac was right
You couldn't double-time one line to save your life
You paid the price when you tried to go against Johnny
Peter got brave, then Peter got BODIED!
For the record, that's how you double-time, slapdick!
You try and act like a fat kid 'cause you've been eating off this rap shit
When the fact is you're a fat kid 'cause you eat a bunch of fat shit!
Ho-Hoes and cupcakes: THAT shit!
Get it straight!
You need to get in shape!
Hey, Liver-Face! Your nipples are the size and shape of dinner plates!
Now, they will NOT play you a beat
We are NOT playing with frees
This is MY world, Pete! I'mma slay him with these
If I was Mickey D's, I'd be paying you G's
'Cause you don't even need a mask to be Mayor McCheese!
Cheah!
[Round 3: The Saurus]
Now hold up! Hold up!
Now, before you get all hype, like the shit he spit was hard
I KNEW that you would pick that verse apart, which goes to show just how PREDICTABLE you are!
So, while that might have been the best you ever did in your life, Dirt
For me, it's just the tip of the iceberg
Listen: I'm killing this lame in a million ways, and you really ain't able to say shit!
You flipping the rhythm, it's pitiful, man, 'cause your syllable game is too BASIC!
Primitive cadence, versus the person who's surely considered the greatest
I was winning the major tournaments while you were earning your minimum wages!
Hold up!
This is the way it's properly done, so you gotta come up with a better approach
Or, honestly, son, I'll be the one that is probably gonna be getting the votes
'Cause everyone knows your terrible gimmicks don't carry your hold or credible image
And whenever you win, you're just getting convicted of murders you never committed!
Whoa! Whoa!
So get in the back of the line!
I made a RACK to lose to Illmac: that's double what you made in all ten of your battles COMBINED!
I'm on the payroll with a pension plan
You're on a free ride you only get because you're cool with all of the respected fam
So what kind of message does it send the fans
When ANY man with an attention span can see that you owe ALL your wins to friendship, Dan?

[Promo OT: The Saurus]
Hold up!
I just finished this shit today! It's tight!
Yo!
Now, he's in a crew called - (*laughs*) - "The Legion of Dudes"
I know! I know, I had trouble believing it, too (*laughs*)
Besides your beard, the only common ground between Jesus and you
Is that, even when you think they're on your team, you still get beat by a Jew!
Wait! Wait!
Yo, half of these peeps are confused, like, "We already saw Jack Schitt battle in person."
The other half KNOW who you are, and wanna lynch you for how badly you jerked him
But you jerk EVERYONE, Dan! That's not something we can disregard!
Shit, even Tiger Ty beat you with his bars...and he was a retard!
Yo! Yo, check it!
Now, there's London, there's Melbourne, Toronto makes it three
International trips for battles this bitch has gotten, thanks to me!
You ain't the chosen one, you homeless bum!
The undercard can't overcome
Knowing the fact that HE'S the opening act of every show we've done!
Yo!
So, you've come today to meet your fucking maker
I put Dirt in the ground like Mother Nature
With a shovel made for digging up your grave, and putting Dirt in the ground: undertaker!
Yo, on the flight here, I even pushed him out the plane with no darn parachute
So, how'd you get to Canada? Did Soul Khan carry you?

[Promo OT: Dirtbag Dan]
I guess we know who get respect in T-Dot more
Not Dan Martinez, but Peter Morris: the choice is yours
You could've voted for this beautiful beard, and you voted for those open sores!
This is a face that open doors!
That one suggests that you nail them shut!
Either to protect you from nuclear war, or just 'cause his pores are so fucked up!
A thesaurus is a book of synonyms
Which is ironic, considering
The word "thesaurus" is a synonym for facial skin disfigurement!
I got some inside info: peep this
Pete here's on some creep shit!
He got a pre-teen boyfriend out in Crete that he sleeps with on some "Greek" shit!
I mean, who else did you think he spent his summers lying on the beach with?
What kind of chick would fuck with a dude whose cheeks are the same texture as a peach pit!?
Your fucking FACE gives a whole new meaning to the term "seasick"!
'Cause anybody who's seen it immediately seemed sick
EAT DICK and scrotum sack!
Fuck holding back 'cause you're old and fat!
Stick to folding jacks
I told him, I just owned him - all I know is that!
Life is filled with uncertainty, and in Pete's case, it's just as well
'Cause no matter where you are in time and space, the date on Pete's face is always 2012!
It's the end of the world where your nose is, and I feel fine!