What are we crazy or something?
At Wanamaker's and Saks and Klein's, a lesson I've been taught
You can't get alterations on a dress you haven't bought
At any vegetable market from Borneo to Nome
You mustn't squeeze a melon 'til you get the melon home
You've simply got to gamble, you get no guarantee
Now doesn't that kind of apply to you and I, you and me?
Whatever
Why not?
Why not what?
Marry the man today, trouble though he may be
Much as he likes to play, crazy and wild and free
Marry the man today, rather than sigh in sorrow
Marry the man today and change his ways tomorrow
Marry the man today (Marry the man today)
Maybe he's leaving town (Maybe he's leaving town)
Don't let him get away (Don't let him get away)
Hurry and track him down (Counterattack him and)
Marry the man today, give him the girlish laughter
Give him your hand today and save the fist for after
Slowly introduce him to the better things
Respectable, conservative, and clean
Readers Digest, Guy Lombardo, Rogers Peet, golf, galoshes, Ovaltine
But marry the man today, handle it meek and gently
Marry the man today and train him subsequently
Carefully expose him to domestic life
And if he ever tries to stray from you
Have a pot roast
Have a headache
Have a baby
Have two
Six
Nine
Stop
Marry the man today, rather than sigh and sorrow
Marry the man today and change his ways (And change his ways)
And change his ways (And change his ways)
And change his ways tomorrow